My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better so i sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wifes broken leg.
Dark Humor

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A blonde girl walks into a gym and sees a guy. The guy takes off his shirt she says “Oh what chest!” " That’s 100 lbs of dynamite, baby." Then he takes off his pants she says “Oh what legs!’’ He says “That 100 lbs of dynamite, baby.” After that, he took off his underwear. The blonde girl starts running he catches her and says “Why were you running? ” She said I didn’t wanna be in there once I’ve seen how small the fuse was.”

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Why does a movie set say break a leg? because they have a CAST

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What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg? Eileen

Doctor approaches a patient in Hospital and says “I have some good news and bad news" so the patient says “What is the bad news?” the Doctor replies “I have had to amputate both your legs” so the patent says “Well what is the good news? ” the Doctor replies "I have found someone to buy your slippers”…

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What do you call a dog with no legs?

It doesn’t matter he isn’t coming to you.

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