A heavily pregnant woman is in an accident and gives birth to twins while comatose. Upon awakening some days later, the doctors tell her that her brother Tom filled out the birth certificates while she was out.

“Oh no, Tom’s an idiot, what did he name my daughter?” she asked the nurse.

“Denise. ”

“That’s not a bad name. And what did he name the boy?”

“Tom Junior.”

My parents raised me as an only child, which really pissed off my sister.

You

Daughter: mommy what ever happened to Steven hawking? Mother: he died. Daughter: how did he die? Mother: he never got recharged.