A guy goes onto a rooftop bar, and is sitting next to a guy who says he’s drinking a magical drink. He asks “What’s so magical about it?” the guy drives a car and flies it around the rooftop. the other tries, but falls of and dies.

The bartender shakes his head, and says.

"Y’know, you’re a real jerk when you’re drunk superman.

A midget walks into a bar and asks for a beer, the bartender says no. The midget asks why, the bartender says “You’re a little drunk”

A nucleus walked into a bar, he asked the bartender, “How much for a drink?” The bartender replied, “For you, NO CHARGE!”

3 vampires walk into a bar. The first one orders a Bloody Mary. The second orders a Bloody Mary. The bartender turns to the third and asks “a Bloody Mary?”

The vampire shakes his head. “Hot water for me”

“Hot water? ”

“I found a tampon out back and want to make tea”