The other day my friend messaged by saying “bro I have two pieces of bad news for you.” I told him to combine them. He replied with “your girlfriend is cheating on both of us.”

One time i broke up with my roblox girlfriend by sending her a message, 30 seconds later i heard my uncle crying in the next room

My girlfriend treats me like God. – She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

A lot of things have changed since I got my girlfriend pregnant.

My name, my address and my phone number.