My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are… But I laugh more.
How can you tell if you have a high sperm count?
When your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.
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My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.

But I knew she’d come crawling back to me.

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A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the Super Bowl game.

They had great seats right behind their teams bench.

After the game the guy asked his girlfriend how she liked the experience.

“Oh, I really liked it!” she replied, “Especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.”

Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, “What do you mean?”

She said, “Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!’ I’m like, hellooooo! It’s only 25 cents!”

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