|
Jim’s car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over, “Step out of the car” says the cop, “I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test.” “I can’t”, Jim responds “You see I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack.” “Alright,” says the cop, “then you’re going to have to take a blood test.” “Can’t do that either,” Jim responds, “I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won’t stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death.” “Ok,” the cop answers “then I will need a urine sample.” “Sorry,” says Jim “I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low.” “Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me.” “Can’t do that either” responds Jim. “Why not?” Demanded the exasperated cop. “Well, because I’m drunk!”
|
| Straight jokes |  |
| - up - | << | N E X T! | >> | 15 ñðàçó |
I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
Father: “That’s great son. Who is she?”
Son: “It’s Tina, the neighbor’s daughter”.
Father: “Ohhh I wish you hadn’t said that.I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother.Tina is actually your sister.”
The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later
Son: “Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!”
Father: “That’s great son. Who is she?”
Son: “It’s Peny, the other neighbor’s daughter.”
Father: “Ohhhh I wish you hadn’t said that. Peny is also your sister.”
This went on couple of times and the son was so mad,he went straight to his mother crying.
Son: “Mum I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with six girls but I can’t date any of them because daddy is their father!”
The mother hugs him affectionately and says:
“My love, you can date whoever you want. Don’t listen to him. He is not your Father.”!!!
A straight man and a gay man are talking, the straight man says, “I’m wanted in 2 states for murder.” and the gay man replies with, “oh, that sucks. I’m wanted in 13 for existing.”