An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called “Lenin in Poland.” When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests. The painting depicts Lenin’s wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky.

“But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin? ” Asks one of the guests.

“Lenin is in Poland,” replies the painter.

Why did the snail paint a big “S” on his car? Because he wanted people to say look at that S car go when he rolled by.

What is blue but smells like red paint?

Blue paint

How many babies do you need to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them.