Billy: spits out food
Mom: BILLY! We swallow what we have in our mouths.
Dad: looks at mom
Mom: Shut up
If you get you get it
Woman jokes

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My wife thinks i’m immature, so I told her to get out of my fort.

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Therapist: so what brought you here today? wife: he’s too literal Therapist: and you sir? husband: my truck

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A Man walks into a bar and Orders 3 shots of Whisky, The Bartender asks "What’s got you down" The man says “I just found out my Niece is gay.” The next day he orders 4 shots of Whisky The Bartender asks “What’s got you down now?” The man says "I just found out my son is gay." The next day he orders 6 shots of whisky The Bartender says "Got anybody who likes Women? " The man says “My wife does.”

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Wife: (on phone) hi Husband: hey I didn’t know dishwashers talk and make me a sandwich.

Woman jokes ещё..

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