Cold jokes

What do you call a ride that drops 180 degrees?

Cold as hell

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Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face and he asks her “why are you rubbing that stuff on your face mother?” His mother replies “to make myself beautiful Johnny.” A few minutes later she starts rubbing the cream off with a tissue. Johnny says to her “What is the matter? Are you giving up?”

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So i was laying in bed and jt winter do my room is aleays cold cause the heater doesnt work. And i was thinking… It would be warmer if someone else was laying here with me… Then i layghed cause who would wanna be with me. Hahaha

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— Dude, What is your favorite rapper? -He is very cold blooded -Why? -He is Ice Cube

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When it’s cold outside men can cut ice in 3 places

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My brother once froze a dollar in a block of ice

I called it cold hard cash

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What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice. Nothing he just gave everyone the cold shoulder

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What cannibals call a person that is running? Fast Food

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Did you hear about the cannibal that came home late? His wife gave him the cold shoulder.

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A good bath is like a dead lover.

You can enjoy them, that is until they get too cold.

It’s so cold, i mist to bring my jacket

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What can u catch but not throw? …... … … … … ….. … … … … Ook. a cold!

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Why did the orphan jump into the burning building? It was to cold because they did not have a home.

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Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they’re happy. They tell him, “Well, we’re so sick of the cold where we’re from, and this place is nice and toasty.”

Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell’s boiler room, where he turns up the temperature.

He goes back to the Canadians’ room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furiously, he asks them what they’re doing.

“Well, we can’t pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!”

Satan realizes he’s been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it’s at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth.

He knows he’s won now, so he goes back to the Canadians’ room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement.

He shouts at them in fury, “WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!”

They look at him and shout at the same time, “Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won! ”

Why do hospitals have fans? To keep the vegetables fresh and cold.

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A man takes a boy into the woods boy says Boy: Mister I’m scared and it’s dark and cold The Man: How do you think I feel I’m walking out here alone

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Texas be like its cold over here over here

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