Puns jokes

I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win.

No pun in ten did

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What do you call an alligator with a vest?

An investigator.

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I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.

But when I got home, all the signs were there.

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Why was the ocean so blue? Because the island never waved back.

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How does a crazy person get to the woods?

He takes the psychopath.

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My friend gave me sugar for my birthday, she thought it was cheap I thought it was pretty sweet

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How does a fish always know how much they weigh? – Because they have their own scales.

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You know why I don’t buy Velcro items anymore?

They are a total rip off.

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I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. – I’m not really a mourning person.

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Why did the picture go to jail? Cause it was framed!

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Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? – Because they lactose.

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So what if I can’t spell Armageddon? It’s not the end of the world

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What do you call a nose without a body? – Nobody knows.

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Do you want to hear a money joke? Never mind it makes no cents

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Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak

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