A man was having a dream. He dreamt about a mystical creature that was commonly known as the god of toast. When the man woke up, he turned to tell his wife about the dream. When he delivers the toast god punch line, his wife shrugged as she faced the opposite direction to the man. The man turned around also and started sobbing as he realised his marriage is in shambles
So one time I had a dream where I as on a road trip and we drove a gulf cart and a Susan, which I don’t know why the heck the name of the car was called a Susan. We went into this house and there was like a woman there and we went into this bathroom which looked like a public bathroom which was so weird!!!
I told a diabetic boy to have sweet dreams, and he died the next morning
I had a dream about a car, and I woke up exhausted
Following your dreams is good…especially since you won’t have to worry about them putting any restraining orders against you.
Just killed a woman feeling good -Tommyinnit
Me in my dream: what a good day rumble ooh! What was dat I wake up and I find myself on the floor
A professor was talking about the american dream. then, he asked the german exchange student if there was a german dream, to which the student replies “we did, but no one liked it.”
I’m a little piss baby! -dream
The pope drives around in a glass box or as I like to call him a snipers dream
Your forehead is so big I bet your dreams are in IMAX.
Me: I have a dream
Mom: what?
Me: for you to f@cking shut up
Mommy mommy! Are we going to live forever? Only in your dreams.
Officer, I drop-kicked that child in SELF-DEFENSE!
You gotta believe me!
I had the BEST day EVER. 1:I woke up 2:I met someone im sad of 3:I had fun and got them back again online. But sadly the order was 2nd, 3rd, 1st… XD
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