1.) What’s Yellow And Can’t Swim?
A Bus Full Of Children 2.) Did you hear bout the pilsbury dough boy?
He died of a yeast infection 3.) I will never forget my grandads last words…
“you’re still holding the ladder right?” 4.) I have a fish that can breakdance…
Only for 20 seconds though, and only once 5.) give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours… Lite a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
Lite a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
I don’t see why people say that emo kid doesn’t like to hangout I seen them hanging all day.
A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words. The man says: “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”
A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. “One more picture and I’ll jump.” He takes another photo and shuts the window. “I can’t jump, you’re not supposed to throw trash out the window.”
What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and my life? They’re both pointless.
I can measure the speed of an object. Because I want to km/s
The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, “Honey put down the knife we were only talking about getting a divorce.”
What was stephan Hawkins last words\windows10shutting down
Why did the strawberry cry? – Because his mother was in a jam.
What did the suicidal kid say to the tree? dont leave me hanging
Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work. Paddy agrees to tell Seamuswife the bad news. He knocks on the door and Seamus wife answers. " Whats happened Paddy?" Paddy frowns. " Im sorry to say poor Seamus fell into the Guinness vat and drowned, im so sorry." She started to cry and asked paddy: " Did he at least die quickly? " Seamus shook his head, " No, he got out 3 times for a pee."
Orphan boy:Your dad is probably dissapointed of you i mean look at you Me: well at least my parents kept me wheres yours
Why do we tell actors to break a leg … so they can get in the cast!
Why is a orphan crying about its family? Because it cant “let it go”
If things dont get better the Christmas lights wont be the only thing hanging
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