Dark Humor

My friends: ugh why are you so lazy and no fun My parents: why can’t u be like ur siblings My teacher: I don’t care if ur depressed focus on ur study! The songs: we understand you:)

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What’s the difference between a man and a table. The table doesn’t cry when I break it’s legs

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Why is a orphan crying about its family? Because it cant “let it go”

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Why were the cherries?? crying?

Because their parents were in a jam.

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When i was at work i say this kid crying i said where are your parents. God i love working in a orphanage

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So there’s a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says “Step on a crack and you break your mother’s back,”. The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother’s back breaking. The little girl’s father looks in terror, she then says “step on a line and you break your father’s spine,”. The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out “OW MY SPINE, ”. The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.

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Chuck Norris doesn’t turn on his shower, he just stares at it until it cries

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Other girls be like “I want a 6ft guy”, meanwhile I want to be 6ft under???

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I told the judge I thought she was unconscious before she woke up crying. The judge asked: why didn’t you drug her again so she would forget?

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I went to visit my friends sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him he kept repeating “Ni caizhe wo de yangqi guan”

Suddenly right in front of me, he passed. Later that night I translated his last words, and they were “You’re standing on my oxygen tube”

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