Hell jokes

What’s Steven Hawkins favorite song? Highway to hell because it’s a staircase to heaven.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

If your sleeping, and you fall in your dream, you may have died, and the angels dropped you Or you don’t wake up, and you were on your way to hell

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

IDK if this is a joke or a question but If killing yourself send you to hell where does siting in the waiting room get you?

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A little boy and a little girl are taking a bath together. The little girl looks down at the boy and says, “Can I touch it?”. The little boy looks back at her and says, “Hell no, you already broke yours off!”.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

So… here’s da scoop, alright… licks KFC off lips so, I was caught, having sex wit three 6 year olds (girls btw, just in case you guys get mad) and da judge told me I was getting da death penalty, you know what I mean?

I had a last resort to save myself though, you feel me? So I told da judge, I said to him, I said: “Yo honah, 6 + 6 + 6 = 18, you smell me?”

Needless to say, I was announced a fre-e-e-e-e-e-e man after dat, you feel me?

But then, the Predator Poachers nigckas just barged into the courtroom and they said: 4 + 4 + 5 = 13!

Alas, I’m writing this joke from jail, and judging by the look my prisonmate Tyrone is giving me, I’ll be writing jokes from hell from now on.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Aw hell naw

Dey turned spongilebile in2 a frigin generator.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Ex-bf’s gf: your so ugly as hell me: oh did I mention that i was trying to be you

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a third of a beer. The bartender bellows, “Get the hell out of here, are you trying to ruin me?”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

Give Kobe a plane ticket, he’ll fly for the trip, but give Kobe a helicopter and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.

I’M GOING TO HELL FOR THIS!!!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I told her roses are red violets are blue god made me pretty what the hell happened to you!! MF???

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Why did Steven Hawking go to hell not heaven

Because there is a stairway to heaven, but there is not one to hell

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

There was a kid at school he was reading a book and he came across a phrase it was purple pation he went to his teacher and asked what it ment his teacher said hat the actual hell get the hell out of my class and go to the princible offic the princible said its ok iwas probably a mistake i will clean this all up in the mean time whats the phrase he says purple pation his prncible stares at him for about 3 seconds then says get the hell out of my school u r expelled he ran 7 miles to his dads offic crying all the way he went to his dad and explained how hs teacher kicked him out of the class and the princable expelled him his dad said calm down i will clean this all up and he said thats what the princable said he said i will clean it up he said ok the phrase is purple pation hisdad said i hate u getout of myoffice i dont want to see u again he ran down crying to his house he explained what happened his mom said the same thing as everyone else so he explaines the phrase his moms kickes him out of the house and he ran down to the park crying a old lady said whats wrong he explained whats happening then she says wellwhats the phrase he says purplepation the old lady said see that house across the street thats my house come over in about 30 min and i will explain he says thank u it was the longest 30 min htm title=' gets hit by a bus sorry guys ;)'>of his life he sprints across the street and gets hit by a bus sorry guys ;)

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

My version of the Roses are red Poem in MW3:

I thought Soap could trust you And so did I too So WHY IN BLOODY HELL DOES MAKAROV KNOW YOU?!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

So I was watching YouTube and then my Friend says “Those videos never get old” and I replied “Just like a Make-A-Wish kid” and after I said that he shot me in the head and said “And now neither do you.” And now I’m in heaven and God says to me “Welcome to Paradise where it is summer days, clear skies and I said “Are there summer women” and now here I am in Hell with my buddy Hitler. I believe he’s a hero. After he killed Hitler

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

When a 68 year old teacher says: I am going to tackle an intruder if i have to!

Me: Oh hell nah

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
- up - << N E X T! >> random

© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2024