Job jokes

Everyone in my class: I can’t wait until have a family, I can’t wait to study for my dream job My friends: What’s your dream job? Me: I’m going to die young:))

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Boobs are like batteries… AA will get the job done… C is bigger than AA… D is bigger that C… …and if they’re square, you don’t want to put your tongue on them!

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I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.

But when I got home, all the signs were there.

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What do you call a giraffe giving a blow job to another giraffe? Getting neck!

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I just found out my ex got stabbed today…lets just say i lost my job as a butcher

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I just quit my job at a can crushing factory.

It was soda-pressing.

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A dad told his son never to hit girls so the sun repeid i promis. When the sun got older he was doing the dirty with "a girl " and the girl sais spank me daddy… and the sons repsonds my dad said never to hit a girl. and the “girl” takes of the wig and its his dad and the dad said good job son!.. Son:… um

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Why is there a lot of whites in hockey? It’s the only other job that involves beating something black other than being a cop

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A guy was on trial for murder and if convicted, would get the electric chair. His brother found out that a redneck was on the jury and figured he would be the one to bribe. He told the redneck that he would be paid $10,000 if he could convince the rest of the jury to reduce the charge to manslaughter.

The jury was out an entire week and returned with a verdict of manslaughter.

After the trial, the brother went to the redneck’s house, told him what a great job he had done and paid him the $10,000.

The red neck replied that it wasn’t easy to convince the rest of the jury to change the charge to manslaughter. They all thought he was not guilty and, wanted to let him go.

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So i was asleep and woke up and went to work my wife left already to her job i was driving my car and ran over someone i woke up in my bed realized it was htm title=' the my wife got hit bye a car'>all a dream 20 minutes later i got a phone call the my wife got hit bye a car

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Yo mama is so ugly, she walked into a haunted house and walked out with a job application.

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Why can’t orphans get a job? Because they don’t have a home.

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I went for a job interview today and the manager said, “We’re looking for someone who is responsible.”

“Well, I’m your man.” I replied, “In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”

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A job is like virginity. Not everyone loses it.

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How come orphans know how to do laundry cause thats usually the moms job

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