I lost my drivers license today i hit my ex with my car
I lost a race with a handicapped person today. The problem was the race was all stairs.
Gravity sure is fast
Where did the cat go when it lost it’s tail? – To the retail store!
Where did Suzy go after getting lost on a minefield?
Everywhere
My cousin: Brother I lost in a game of Call of Duty: Moe Bill [he was supposed to pronounce it as mobile however I left it as it is] Me: so tell me about it then. My cousin: I lost to Sum_Baldi Me: somebody? Don’t they have like the name of you opponents? My cousin: no no no the name was Sum_Baldi. S.U.M_B.A.L.D.I Me: Ok my bad. Continue My cousin: I got Sum_Baldi and 5 seconds later I got kill but [by] Sum_Fing_Wong. Me: it’s not wrong! In call of duty, you are suppose to kill or be killed. My cousin: no no no the name was Sum_Fing_Wong. S.U.M_F.I.N.G_W.O.N.G Me: my bad again. Do continue. My cousin: I got so angry I blowup Me: so you got blowed up, by what weapon? My cousin: by the game. Me: [was not expecting that for an answer]
Yo mama so fat i stood next to her and lost cell phone reception
Today was a bad day. First My ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, “Awwww, I wish my friends were here.”
How did Stephen Hawking Die, He lost WiFi Connection.
Why are Americans so bad at clash Royale
Because they’ve already lost 2 towers
What dose an Orphan and a lost kid have in comen. They have no way home
Why do Americans suck at chess… because they lost two towers
Me: I have lost it.
Random: Lost what?
Me: My will to live.
Why is the USA bad a at clash Royale? , cause they already lost two towers
Three men are travelling through the desert when their single camel dies. They walk for a while but then it becomes night. Desperate for shelter, suddenly they stumble across a tent and inside is three beautiful women. The men were not only lost but horny too so they begin to have sex with the women. But the tent belongs to a prince and these three women were his wives so he is very angry when he arrives an hour later and sees three strangers having sex with his wives. He tells the three men he will chop off their penises as punishment, in some way relating to their job. He asks the first man what his job is: The guy says, "I’m a fireman" The prince says, "Then we’ll burn your dick off!" The second guy says, "I’m an employee at the shooting range" The prince says, "Then we’ll shoot your dick off! " The third guy smiles and says, "I’m a lollipop salesman
I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. – I lost my case.
RUS | ENG
