Priest jokes

What kind of sex do priest love…nun

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Roast: What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus? One is hairy and smells like fish and the other is a walrus. Your welcome

What is the difference between a Catholic priest and Acne? – Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.

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A wise man once said, "don’t think young, think tight" He was priest.

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Whats The Difference Between A Rabi And A Priest One Cuts Them Off And One Sucks Them Off

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What does a priest and a wristwatch have in common?

— they both start at 12.

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Do you know where priests go at night???

To all night sale a boys r us

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What is a priests favorite song?

– Magic flute in A minor

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What do you call an orphan who grows up and becomes a priest?

Father Les.

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A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning church and the Priest says “what about the children” the rabbi says “f@ck the children” and the Priest says "do you think we’ll have time

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Say all you want about priests but at least they drive slowly in school zones

On a hot summers day a famous celebrity tweeted " it is a beautiful day and I`m deciding which kid to have fun with today" to which the local priest replied " I too am deciding which of your kids to have fun with today".

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A priest and a nun are traveling across the desert on a camel and when all the sudden the camel dies. They’re in the middle of the desert with no hope of rescue when that night the priest thinks to himself that he can’t die a virgin. He looks over at the nun and pulls out his penis. The nun says father what is that? He says this sister is the wand of life. The nun says good, now go stick it in that camels ass and let’s get the hell outa here!

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A bus full of Nuns falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Peter. St. Peter says to them “Sisters, welcome to Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. ”

St. Peter turns to the first Nun in the line and asks her “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” The Sister Responds “Well… there was this one time… that I kinda sorta… touched one with the tip of my pinky finger…” St. Peter says “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” and she did so.

St. Peter now turns to the second nun and says “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” “Well…. There was this one time… that I held one for a moment…” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so.

Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Peter sees this and asks the Nun “Sister Susan, what is this? There is no rush!” Sister Susan responds “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Mary sticks her ass in it!”

A priest, a rapist, a pedophile and a homosexual walk into a bar…

He orders a drink.

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What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?

— Their balls are just for decoration.

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What do you call a catholic priest who molests children?

A catholic priest

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What’s the difference between a priest and a rabbi, the rabbi cuts it off the the priest sucks it off

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