Puns jokes

I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win.

No pun in ten did

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Why doesn’t the Sun go to college? – Because it has a million degrees.

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Do you want to hear a money joke? Never mind it makes no cents

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I went for a job interview today and the manager said, “We’re looking for someone who is responsible.”

“Well, I’m your man.” I replied, “In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”

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Last night I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it was just a Fanta sea!

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Someone stole my toilet and the police have nothing to go on.

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I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. – I lost my case.

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What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards?

A receding hare line.

How do you cut ancient Rome in half?

With a pair of Caesars.

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What do you call a nose without a body? – Nobody knows.

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RIP boiling water. You will be mist.

There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.

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You know why I don’t buy Velcro items anymore?

They are a total rip off.

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If trees could kill you, they wood.

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I Googled “How to start a Wildfire”. I got 48,500 matches.

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Dont trust atoms they make up everything.

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I wanted to make a belt out of watches, then I realized, it was a waist of time!

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