Straight jokes

Me be straight and bored

Goes to my local bar which has a goly hole

Out up spending the rest of the night there

About to leave when mf I realize I’ve been sucking a guys cock this whole time

):

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Why cant gay people have hair lines? because its not straight.

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You when you face the boss the first time::) you when dark souls boss music starts playing on the second phase::( you when you ask why do you hear boss music: ( you when the boss goes straight to his final phase after 1 hit:

..

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Astronaut In The Ocean-By- Masked Wolf and watersharky Music Productions- Astro-naut What you know about rollin’ down in the deep? When your brain goes numb, you can call that mental freeze When these people talk too much, put that shit in slow motion, yeah I feel like an astronaut in the ocean, ayy What you know about rollin’ down in the deep?

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Jim’s car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over, “Step out of the car” says the cop, “I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test.” “I can’t”, Jim responds “You see I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack.” “Alright,” says the cop, “then you’re going to have to take a blood test.” “Can’t do that either,” Jim responds, “I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won’t stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death.” “Ok,” the cop answers “then I will need a urine sample.” “Sorry,” says Jim “I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low.” “Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me.” “Can’t do that either” responds Jim. “Why not?” Demanded the exasperated cop. “Well, because I’m drunk!”

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To my best friend, my brother is like a spider. She chose to kill him straight away. That’s why she is my friend, after all!:D

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I was doing a race and I started after everyone cause I fell, but when I got up I realized I couldn’t even race, not because I was behind, because I can’t go straight, if i’m gay…

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My friend said “Dude, if you don’t put your desk in line with the column, your gay.” so he did it and i said “Well i guess now he’s straight” ;D

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An old man gets the call from the IRS The man on the phone says, “we’ve noticed large sums of money coming in and going out of your account constantly and we gotta get this straight. Come in tomorrow and we’ll have a chat about this.” The old man thinks for a while and then decides he better get his lawyer to come with him.

The next day the old man and his

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A straight man and a gay man are talking, the straight man says, “I’m wanted in 2 states for murder.” and the gay man replies with, “oh, that sucks. I’m wanted in 13 for existing.”

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