Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver
A Blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde. The Blonde Cop asked to see the blonde driver’s license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. ‘What does it look like?’ she finally asked. The policewoman replied, ‘It’s square and it has you picture on it.’ The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. ‘Here it is,’ she said. The Blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, “OK, you can go. I didn’t realize you were a cop…”
My wife asked me to help cure her from sucking her thumb. So I drew a cock on it.
One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive!
If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.
my girl is so cute when she sleeps I watch her all the time……………….tomorrow I might say hi to her for the first time
Wife:Honey im pregnant Husband:Hi Pregnant im dad Wife:No you’re not
My girlfriend told me the dishwasher was leaking so I brought home some tampons
My girlfriend got ran over by a bus I lost my job as a bus driver.
After my wife died, I couldn’t even look at another woman for 10 years. But now that I’m out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it!
why did the orphan not have a girlfriend? because he thought that she would leave him to.
What’s the difference between a battery and my wife? The battery has a positive side
how do you know when your wife is cheating on you? she comes home with sparkles on her face
I asked my girlfriend if he wanted to join my family tree… She dropped the rope and ran
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