a horse walks in a bar. the bartender said why the long face
A midget walks into a bar and asks for a beer, the bartender says no. The midget asks why, the bartender says “You’re a little drunk”
A guy walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says: If i can suprise you, i get a free drink. The bartender was unsure but agreed. The guy pulled up a 30cm long pianist out of his pocket and he starts to play The bartender was suprised and gave the guy a free drink The guy then sais: You see, i have a little wizard in my pocket that grants wishes, can i get another free drink if you get a free wish? The bartender agrees without hesitation The bartender wishes for a 1000 bucks, but he gets a 1000 ducks WTF! the man shouts. The guy answered: Did you think i wanted a 30cm long pianist
A hitman walks into a bar and tells the bartender I m here to assassinate John Tucker. The bartender replies he’s in the restroom. The hit man goes inside the restroom and comes out after 1 hour. The bartender asks him did u kill him? The hitman replies with a sad face “I asked him any last wishes and the guy asked me to allow him to finish his shit as he is half way in passing his stools so I gave him my word that I would wait and so I waited for an hour and when I asked him what’s taking him so long he says he will not be able to finish because he is just getting started”.
So the horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Why the long face?" UwU
A hamburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, “I’m sorry. We don’t serve food here.”
A TWELVE VOLT BATTERY walks into a tavern and orders a drink.The bartender serves him , and comments now don’t start anything .
%% %%A man with a mullet walks into a bar The bartender says “The party’s in the back”
A ham sandwich walks into a bar, and orders a beer. The bartender says, ?Sorry, we don’t serve food here."
Coronavirus walks into a bar and tells the bartender, “Gimme a shot of whiskey, will ya?” The bartender says, “Sorry. We don’t serve viruses here. ” Corona replies, “Well, you’re not a very good host.”
A Roman walks into a bar and orders a martinus,the bartender says "Don’t you mean a Martini?"the Roman then says "Look,if I want a double I’ll ask for one.
A blind guy walks into a bar with his seeing eye dog. He then picks his dog up by the tail and starts to swing him around. The bartender asks him “Hey man What the hell you doing? ”. Blind guy says “Just looking around”
A grasshopper walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender says, “Hey! We have a drink named after you!” The grasshopper looks confused and says, “Oh really? You have a drink named ‘Bob’??”
A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, “I thought you guys only drink blood?” The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, “I’m making tea.”
I was at the bar with a friend, and he said to me, “Veronica, I just stopped a rape.” The bartender overheard him and had a puzzled look on his face, because he never moved. He then said, “I saw this girl walk into the bathroom, and I decided not to go.”
RUS | ENG
