Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face and he asks her “why are you rubbing that stuff on your face mother?” His mother replies “to make myself beautiful Johnny.” A few minutes later she starts rubbing the cream off with a tissue. Johnny says to her “What is the matter? Are you giving up?”
Ice cold coffee? Coll beans!
guess what song this is from: I’LL CUT YOU INTO LITTLE BITTY PIECES OR FREEZE YOU TILL YOUR BLOOD RUNS COLD OR STAB YOUR TIL’ YOU HEART STOPS PUMPING I’M HERE TO REALIZE YOUR WISH FROM WHAT I’M TOLD
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice. Nothing he just gave everyone the cold shoulder
-Dude, What is your favorite rapper? -He is very cold blooded -Why? -He is Ice Cube
What does the cannibal eat who comes late for dinner? The cold shoulder
Why did the skeleton never get cold? Because it went right through him
What did Sushi ‘A’ say to Sushi ‘B’? -Wassaaaa…B
What does a bar fly and a Necrophiliac have in common? They both enjoy a Cold one once in awhile.
what do you do when you get locked outside your house… you talk to the lock. because communication is key.
How do you stay warm in a cold room? You go to the corners. It’s always 90 degrees
A German, an Australian, and a Mexican are on a plane. They say that they can tell where they are by sticking their hands out of the pane. The German sticks his hand out and says “We are in Germany.” The others ask, “How do you know,” the German says, “Because it’s so cold.” Then the Australian sticks his hand out and says “We are in Australia,” the others ask “How do you know,” he replies “Because it’s so warm.” Then the Mexican sticks his hand out and back in. He says " We are in Mexico, " the others ask “How do you know,” he says " Because my watch is gone"
If you ever get cold just go to a corner because they usually 90 degrees.
I like my bread how I like my wife: cold and stiff
Most annoying thing… When we send something in What’s app thinking our friend is online but can only see two grey ticks…
RUS | ENG
