Cold jokes

How do you stay warm in a cold room? You go to the corners. It’s always 90 degrees

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One dark stormy night when i was 8 years old I woke up in the middle of the night busting to pee, half asleep i walked down the stairs and toward the bathroom and heard a strange whirring sound that sounded like a ghost. When I opened the door i felt a strange cool breeze and the light came on automatically and the ghostly sound stopped, terrified I did what I had to and went back to bed. The next 3 nights the same thing happened and finally i decided i had to tell my mom no matter how hard to believe it sounded. The next night I woke up I went into my parents room and woke my mom up and said, “you have to come with me and see this it’s really important,” Half asleep she murmured, "oh what is it can’t it wait until the morning?’ I pleaded, “no you have to come see, our bathroom is haunted by a ghost when I go in the middle of the night I can hear a ghost sound then when i open the door I feel the cold as it swoops through me and the light comes on automatically. ” She yawned and said, “oh so that’s who’s been peeing in the refrigerator.”

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A poster for the winter relief fund reads: "No one should be allowed to go hungry or suffer from the cold." A worker says to his friend, “now were not even allowed to do that.”

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A blonde crashes a airplane Officer: could you please explain to me what happened? Woman: It got so cold in the plane I turned the fan off. Officer: face palms self Also officer: Here’s you sign

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Why did the skeleton never get cold? Because it went right through him

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When the cannibal was late for dinner, he got the cold shoulder.

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If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner. There usually 90^!

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They call it the Cold War because Russia is cold in 2 ways. your forehead so big if you fell you would knock out your state cold

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Window Problems A blonde texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won’t open." Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer. " Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now.”

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Do you know warrior cats? I heard Hawkfrost is Cold.

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