Cold jokes

What has one head, one foot and four legs? A: A Bed

Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it’s over your head!

Q: How many letters are in The Alphabet? A: There are 11 letters in The Alphabet

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Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy)

Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle)

Q: David’s father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and? A: David!

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Q: If you were in a ra

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They call it the Cold War because Russia is cold in 2 ways.

Your forehead so big if you fell you would knock out your state cold

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Why don’t mountains catch colds? They wear snow caps.

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What kind of woman does Bill Cosby like the most?

The “cold and passed out” kind.

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So today is my birthday today am 13 but yesterday am going to turn 10.but am not even go to school to know the number ten becuase one time at 10 pm in the morning it was so cold in in my hot room so I want outside to drive my car to drive my car. But I stopped becuase the light turn green.i was talking a bath in the front of my car out it didn’t have bin so am taking a sh$t

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When you have to get your prostate checked and you can feel the cold rubber of the glove but you realize both the doctor’s hands are on your shoulders

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So i was laying in bed and jt winter do my room is aleays cold cause the heater doesnt work. And i was thinking… It would be warmer if someone else was laying here with me… Then i layghed cause who would wanna be with me. Hahaha

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Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they’re happy. They tell him, “Well, we’re so sick of the cold where we’re from, and this place is nice and toasty.”

Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell’s boiler room, where he turns up the temperature.

He goes back to the Canadians’ room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furiously, he asks them what they’re doing.

“Well, we can’t pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!”

Satan realizes he’s been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it’s at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth.

He knows he’s won now, so he goes back to the Canadians’ room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement.

He shouts at them in fury, “WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!”

They look at him and shout at the same time, “Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won! ”

Why do hospitals have fans? To keep the vegetables fresh and cold.

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I like my bread how I like my wife: cold and stiff

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A poster for the winter relief fund reads: "No one should be allowed to go hungry or suffer from the cold." A worker says to his friend, “now were not even allowed to do that.”

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Most annoying thing… When we send something in What’s app thinking our friend is online but can only see two grey ticks…

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What did the iceberg say to the firefighter? Come close and i’ll knock you out cold

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When the cannibal was late for dinner, he got the cold shoulder.

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Why would the chicken not cross the road? Beacuse its to old.(the joke is old) (the nchicken is old)

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Why are colds such bad robbers? – Because they’re so easy to catch.

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