Computer jokes

When the C.I.A. raided Osama Bin Laden’s house, they found steam on his computer this means he was a gamer. He raged a little too hard and went for New York.

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One apple a day keeps the doctor away, not logging onto servers using management or service accounts keeps SecOps people away.

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Your Momma’s so fat, the recursive function calculating her mass causes a stack overflow.

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Why can’t orphans build computers? They don’t know where to put the motherboard

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Window Problems A blonde texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won’t open." Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer. " Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now.”

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What did the computer say to the other computer? “Well Tech-ically we can’t talk.”

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What’s the difference between an American and a computer? Americans don’t have trouble shooting

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A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, “Where’d you get that?” The student on the bike replies, “While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, “You can have anything you want.”” The first student responds, “Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you.”

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Q: How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend? A: He gave her a ring. Q: What’s the most popular video game at the bread bakery? A: Knead for Speed. Q: Why is Santa good at karate? A: He has a black belt. Q: Where do werewolves buy Christmas gifts? A: Beast Buy. Q: What did the snowflake say to the road? A: Let’s stick together. Q: Why did the turkey

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Why was Stephen Hawking never trusted when taking a quiz. “No computers allowed on the test”

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