Computer jokes

My wife told me she’ll slam my head on the keyboard if I don’t get off the computer. I’m not too worried, I think she’s jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf

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A man was walking down the street with a swivel chair under one arm, a computer under the other and a desk strapped to his back. A policeman ran over to him and handcuffed him, saying “I’m arresting you for impersonating an office, sir”

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Whats the difference between and abortion clinic and a computer? Ctrl+Alt+delete

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Why can’t orphans build computers? They don’t know where to put the motherboard

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How did the inkjet printer kill himself? He drank cyan-ide.

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What did the processor say when it was being overclocked? “Stop it! It hertz so much!”

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Yo mama so dumb that when she saw the “log in” page on her computer she went and put a log in it.

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Why did Wi-Fi and the computer get married? Because they had a connection

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whats the difference between a white kid and a computer? the child has no trouble shooting

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Why was the computer so good at golf? because he had a hard drive if a dog made a computer it would have a mega bite

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I was using my computer one time and I pressed Ctrl-Alt-Delete and Stephen Hawking went into a deep sleep

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There was a car accident and the cops pull up to the crime seen to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said what happened here she responded by saying a car crash. They then asked but how did it happen, she responded the cars crashed into each other. They finally said but why did it happen. The lady said oh i know where your going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas peddle the car goes forward and they both pushed it so they both went forward and hit each other. One cop said never mind ma’m and they stared walking away. The blonde lady then said oh and officers my computer froze do you think i should put in the microwave or in the oven?

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What’s missing in an orphanage computer? The mother board

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Why did Stephen Hawking not believe in God? Computers don’t really have a specific religion

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One day a computer said to another computer, "Why are you so dumb." The other computer replied, “Because I have low memory.”

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