Computer jokes

I heard the man who invented Autocorrect died; may he wrist in peach.

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Why was the computer late to work? Because it had a hard drive!

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One apple a day keeps the doctor away, not logging onto servers using management or service accounts keeps SecOps people away.

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Why can’t Orphans have a computer? They don’t have a home page.

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Why was Stephen Hawking never trusted when taking a quiz. “No computers allowed on the test”

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A wife and husband was setting up their computer and the husband makes the password my dick, but the wife fell on the floor laughing because the computer said the password was too short.

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What does a baby computer call its father- Data

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Yo mama so dumb that when she saw the “log in” page on her computer she went and put a log in it.

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There was a car accident and the cops pull up to the crime seen to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said what happened here she responded by saying a car crash. They then asked but how did it happen, she responded the cars crashed into each other. They finally said but why did it happen. The lady said oh i know where your going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas peddle the car goes forward and they both pushed it so they both went forward and hit each other. One cop said never mind ma’m and they stared walking away. The blonde lady then said oh and officers my computer froze do you think i should put in the microwave or in the oven?

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What did the computer say to the other computer? “Well Tech-ically we can’t talk.”

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When the C.I.A. raided Osama Bin Laden’s house, they found steam on his computer this means he was a gamer. He raged a little too hard and went for New York.

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My uncle is a computer genius! The police even called him a pdf file!!

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Why did Wi-Fi and the computer get married? Because they had a connection

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The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an apple but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.

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What does a shark and a computer have in common? They both have megabites.

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