I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog.
what do you call a dog with no legs? It don’t matter what you call it. It ain’t coming.
Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it… at least Jesus didn’t get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.
Me and my grandpa went on a road trip and he died that was the last thing we did together and I will never forget his last words “WAKE UP YOU DUMBASS”
Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender? A: Nothing! He was hung over. My sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry So I threw a coconut at her
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He yelled, "Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!" The Doctor replies, “I know, I amputated your arms.”
I don’t see why people say that emo kid doesn’t like to hangout I seen them hanging all day.
I will always remember my grandpa’s last words. SHIT, THE LADDER IS FALLING!
Why dose a milking stool have 3 legs? Because, the cow has the utter one.
Where does a girl with one leg work? IHOP.
My mom told me its not healthy to stay in my room all day…but the only places I’m allowed to go to are my room and downstairs.
Once I saw A girl crying and asked where are your parents; God I love working at orphanages.
Depression is like therapy the more you see it the more you get used to it
A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair.so she told her sister and her sister said that aint nothing mines already eating bananas
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is “dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks " what’s that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " f@cking, f@ck,f@ck,f@ck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad’s in the kitchen f@cking the turkey.
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