Dark Humor

What do you call a cow that has two legs shorter on one side of its body compared to the other? LEAN BEEF!

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My girlfriends last words I can’t wait to become a mom

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Once there was a girl named Sally! She had no arms or legs, was mute, deaf, and blind Knock knock Who’s there? Not sally

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Why did Billy not like the soccer ball he got for Christmas?.. He has no legs…

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A man walks into a bar. Sits down and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating for and said he’ll give one shot on the house. The man said I celebrating my first blowjob. And nah if 12 shots doesn’t get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.

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so if the reason people used to hang women because they were seen as witches back in the day, if boys were to be hung would they be called wizards?

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(Just a joke) when Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said " It’ll get better just walk it off."

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my grandpa died in 9/11 i was told his last words where Allahu Akbar

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My life Tell me when you get it

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Why did the strawberry cry? – Because his mother was in a jam.

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What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and my life? They’re both pointless.

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Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Tina, the neighbor’s daughter”. Father : “Ohhh I wish you hadn’t said that.I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother.Tina is actually your sister.” The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later Son : “Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!” Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Peny, the other neighbor’s daughter.” Father : “Ohhhh I wish you hadn’t said that. Peny is also your sister.” This went on couple of times and the son was so mad,he went straight to his mother crying. Son : “Mum I am so mad at dad ! I fell in love with six girls but I can’t date any of them because daddy is their father!” The mother hugs him affectionately and says: “My love, you can date whoever you want. Don’t listen to him. He is not your Father.”!!!

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What do you call a cow with two legs Answer: Your mom

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I’ll never forget my Grandads last words…SON WHERE DID U GET A GRENADE FROM?!

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If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it. Works they be kicking or hitting you?

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