Friend #1: “Whats your favourite thing about trees?” Friend #2: “Apples” Me: “I can hang myself in them.”
I don"t think I’m allergic to this
What do you say to your sister when she’s crying? – “Are you having a crisis?”
A man in a wheelchair and his friend were walking down the street Man in Wheelchair: * falls out of wheelchair* Friend: Are you okay? Man in Wheelchair: I can’t feel my legs
Chuck Norris doesn’t turn on his shower, he just stares at it until it cries
Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock “Who’s there?” Not Susie.
what fell down the tree first the emo or the apple guess what the apple because the emo got left hanging
Me: Man I wish my clothes were emo. Friend:Why? Me:so they would hang themselves
The emo kid tried to high five the tree But the tree left him hanging
What’s the difference between a baby and an onion ? One cries when you peel its skin off, the other makes you cry when you peel its skin off.
Snow everywhere, it’s Christmas time. A person looks at the tree. The person: Only last thing left to hang! He grabs a noose.
You wanna know why I love trains? They end my suffering.
a boy got a soccer ball and a bike for Christmas. Why is he sad? He doesn’t have legs
I cannot moderate myself at all. It’s either I don’t take my meds, or I take the entire bottle. Decisions decisions… Bleach solves so many problems, Staines, Dirty dishes, messes, and over population
Why do orphans cry at insurance places They got offered the family plan
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