Why do trees never call emo kids? The emos always hang up on them.
Yo mamma is so ugly she made blind kids cry
My friends: ugh why are you so lazy and no fun My parents: why can’t u be like ur siblings My teacher: I don’t care if ur depressed focus on ur study! The songs: we understand you :)
are you a rope? bc i wanna hang with you
“Boom, quick; you have five seconds to give me three reasons to live.” “1…2…3 ……4…5…” Did you noticed you said nothing at all?
a man walks into a bar, and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. when he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says “If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone’s drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try? ” the man decided not to take the risk. he thought the steaks where too high.
You’d think my son would be happy that Daddy bought him a new bike. But no… oh no he just sits in his wheelchair and cries like a little girl.
I cannot moderate myself at all. It’s either I don’t take my meds, or I take the entire bottle. Decisions decisions… Bleach solves so many problems, Staines, Dirty dishes, messes, and over population
I don"t think I’m allergic to this
I’ll never forget my Grandads last words…SON WHERE DID U GET A GRENADE FROM?!
Last words of the captain of the Titanic… Where’s all this water come from??
When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
I bet my friend $5 that he would die drowning. A depressing but satisfying victory.
Me: Knock knock…Friend: who’s there? Me: I don’t know anymore
The best night of my life was when gave my virginity to wife and her last word was when she called me “Mommy” at the top of her lungs before I knocked her up ??.
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