Dark Humor

my advice to suicidal people: just hang in there ??

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Why did the sea cry ? Because it felt salty and blue

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what does an apple and a lawyer have in common? they both look good hanging from a tree

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what do you call a dog with no legs? It don’t matter what you call it. It ain’t coming.

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This boy was in school one day when he became desparate to go to the bathroom. So he asked the teacher, “May I use the bathroom?” The teacher replied, “No, not unless you say your alphabet.” So the boy said “a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z.” When he finished, the teacher asked him, “Where’s the p?” The boy replied, “Half way down my leg…” i hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though i think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldnt wanna hurt your funny bone, but i think your starting to get BONELY so ill stop pulling your leg. Now get out before i give you a bad time.

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friend: hey,wanna play hid and seek? me:sure, i’ve got a great spot! me: grabs nuce and runs to my closet

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Most people think an octopus has 8 legs. Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms? Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says “Owwww” are his arms.

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I will always remember my uncle’s last words, “What’s The Shovel For?”

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i will never forget my mother and fathers last words WHERE THE SAM HELL DID YOU GET A GRANADE

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Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.

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An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.

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