Why did potassium draw a tear that would consult in him crying? Because all of his friends argon
A man is walking on the deck of a cruise ship, when he sees a woman, without arms and legs, crying. The man says “What’s wrong?” The woman says “I’ve never been hugged before.” So, the man gives her a hug and walks away. The next day, the man sees the woman, on the deck, crying again. The man says “What’s wrong, now?” The woman says “I’ve never been kissed before.” So, the man gives her a kiss and walks away. The next day, the same thing occurs. The man says “Oh, for Christ’s sake! What’s wrong, this time?!” The woman says “Well, I’ve never been f@cked before.” So, the man picks her up, throws her into the ocean, and yells “YOU’RE f@ckED!”
I still remember my dad’s last words "don’t worry son, Allah will be pleased"
What was Steven Hawking’s last words? The windows xp log out sound
Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately? Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow
The best night of my life was when gave my virginity to wife and her last word was when she called me “Mommy” at the top of her lungs before I knocked her up ??.
Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number
if things dont get better the Christmas lights wont be the only thing hanging
What do you call a dog with no legs ? It doesn’t matter he isn’t coming to you.
Gambler A guy walks into a butcher’s shop and says "Sir, are you a gambling man?" The butcher says, “Why yes, as a matter of fact I am.” "Then I’ll bet you $25 you can’t reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there." The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I’m sorry, I won’t take that bet." The guy says, “But I thought you said you were a gambling man. ” “I am. But the steaks are too high.”
What’s the difference between a coat hangerband an emo? Nothing that both hang
1.) What’s Yellow And Can’t Swim? A Bus Full Of Children 2.) Did you hear bout the pilsbury dough boy? he died of a yeast infection 3.) I will never forget my grandads last words… “you’re still holding the ladder right?” 4.) I have a fish that can breakdance… only for 20 seconds though, and only once 5.) give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours… lite a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you left it.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions which made me cry. Onions was a good dog.
I wanna be a Christmas decoration cause they always do be hanging
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