my advice to suicidal people: just hang in there ??
Why did the sea cry ? Because it felt salty and blue
“Hold my beer, watch this.”
if things dont get better the Christmas lights wont be the only thing hanging
what does an apple and a lawyer have in common? they both look good hanging from a tree
what do you call a dog with no legs? It don’t matter what you call it. It ain’t coming.
This boy was in school one day when he became desparate to go to the bathroom. So he asked the teacher, “May I use the bathroom?” The teacher replied, “No, not unless you say your alphabet.” So the boy said “a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z.” When he finished, the teacher asked him, “Where’s the p?” The boy replied, “Half way down my leg…” i hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though i think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldnt wanna hurt your funny bone, but i think your starting to get BONELY so ill stop pulling your leg. Now get out before i give you a bad time.
friend: hey,wanna play hid and seek? me:sure, i’ve got a great spot! me: grabs nuce and runs to my closet
What does a priest and a clown have in common? They both make children cry
Most people think an octopus has 8 legs. Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms? Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says “Owwww” are his arms.
I will always remember my uncle’s last words, “What’s The Shovel For?”
The Orphan started crying at school when he got suspended and had to go home
i will never forget my mother and fathers last words WHERE THE SAM HELL DID YOU GET A GRANADE
Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.
An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.
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