I could never forget my grandfathers last words. “Stop shaking the ladd-”
So there’s a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says “Step on a crack and you break your mother’s back,”. The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother’s back breaking. The little girl’s father looks in terror, she then says “step on a line and you break your father’s spine,”. The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out “OW MY SPINE, ”. The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.
Why was I stress eating on the train track? To wait to get hit.
knock knock whos their boo boo who well you dont have to cry about it gary
i will never forget my little brothers last word rip. his last words: paint dosent taste good
When your sad don’t feel down about yourself break someone’s leg and laugh.
I cry a lot for someone who isn’t even properly hydrated
I wanna be a Christmas decoration cause they always do be hanging
“Hold my beer, watch this.”
my grandpas last words were, why is there a body in my kitchen. no witnessess
Dont say your life is a joke because jokes got meaning.
i have no friends but then i realize my true friends are anxiety and depression
What has two legs but can’t walk? Pants ??
One day, he started crying out of nowhere. Everyone started crying with him. There was a crying pandemic going around.
So I’m banging the f@ck out of this slutty chick, right? And I’m thinking to myself, “She’s PROBABLY got AIDS.” So I go and get myself tested and, lo-and-behold, I’m positive. This gets me thinking, “Where the f@ck does an eight year old get AIDS? !” “Who has my sister been hanging out with?!”
RUS | ENG
