Dark Humor

How do you make a builder cry? Kill his family

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A man is walking on the deck of a cruise ship, when he sees a woman, without arms and legs, crying. The man says “What’s wrong?” The woman says “I’ve never been hugged before.” So, the man gives her a hug and walks away. The next day, the man sees the woman, on the deck, crying again. The man says “What’s wrong, now?” The woman says “I’ve never been kissed before.” So, the man gives her a kiss and walks away. The next day, the same thing occurs. The man says “Oh, for Christ’s sake! What’s wrong, this time?!” The woman says “Well, I’ve never been f@cked before.” So, the man picks her up, throws her into the ocean, and yells “YOU’RE f@ckED!”

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I’ll never forget my brother’s last words: “Why is there a revolver in your hand?”

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My friends: ugh why are you so lazy and no fun My parents: why can’t u be like ur siblings My teacher: I don’t care if ur depressed focus on ur study! The songs: we understand you :)

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why arent emos n trees friends? cus the tree leaves them hanging

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I wish i could be as visible as my depression is. My future is so bright, i need a flashlight to see where i’m going

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Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful f@cker just sat in his wheelchair and cried

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Stephen hawkings last words were the windows closing sound

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my sons so ungrateful. i bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.

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I still remember my grandpas last words Stop shaking the damn ladder

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Why did the turkey cross the road twice? To prove he wasn’t a chicken!

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What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you? Take her wheel chair, she’ll come crawling back.

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You should never leave a man hanging. Unless they are still alive…

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What does my head and hell have in common? They both have demons in them

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Why did potassium draw a tear that would consult in him crying? Because all of his friends argon

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