I wish my hair was depressed Cause then it would cut itself
Me: want to play 911
My little brother: what’s that
Me: It’s where i kick your legs and you fall
Im jealous at me led lights. cause they r hanging from the celling ans im not.
Depression is like therapy the more you see it the more you get used to it
What do you call a dog with no legs? – Doesn’t matter what you call him, he’s not coming.
A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words. The man says: “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”
Famous last words of my uncle: (a bomb disposal expert) yes the red wire
Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!
Me and my grandpa went on a road trip and he died that was the last thing we did together and I will never forget his last words “WAKE UP YOU DUMBASS”
Why did Billy not like the soccer ball he got for Christmas?..
He has no legs…
I tried to high five a tree it left me hanging
Last word of mayor of Hiroshima: ‘what the f@ck was that noise?’
What where Stephens last words “battery low”
Whats the difference between a school bus and my Dad’s van?
Schools buses usually don’t have screaming and crying children
I tried to high five a tree, but it just left me hanging.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.
RUS | ENG