Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you” Person I’m talking to: Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline “haha what”
What’s a depressed kids favorite holiday… Christmas because everything is hanging
My girlfriends last words I can’t wait to become a mom
Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful f@cker just sat in his wheelchair and cried
i will always remember my grandfathers last words “ill just check if its poisonous”.
Sam is a kindergartener. One day, Sam’s teacher told him to learn the first few letters of the alphabet. Later that night, Sam asked his moody sister what the first letter of the alphabet was and she replied with “Oh what’s the point. Life is meaningless…”. Sam then went up to his room and found his brother crying on the floor. Sam asked him what the next letter was. “I hate you!” said sam’s brother, so Sam left the room. Sam went to his mom and asked her what the third letter was. “You stupid f*****” his mom yelled at him. So Sam went to ask his Grandpa what the fourth letter is and his grandpa didn’t reply, so Sam went to bed. The next day, Sam’s teacher called on him to tell the class what the first letter is and he answered with “Oh what’s the point. Life is meaningless…” and the teacher sent him to the school counselor. As he left the room, he yelled at his teacher “I hate you!” As Sam arrived at the counselors office she said she had called his parents and they wanted him to be safe and locked up in a padded cell. “You stupid f*****” Sam screamed as he heard the ambulance sirens getting nearer. As the ambulance drove away, Sam, in his straight jacket, was silent.
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you? Take her wheel chair, she’ll come crawling back.
Q: what happened when the depressed kid wanted to high five the tree? A: It left him/her/them hanging
Orphan boy:Your dad is probably dissapointed of you i mean look at you Me: well at least my parents kept me wheres yours
This man got his left arm and left leg cut off and someone asked him “How are You?” And he said “I’m all right now.”
if things dont get better the Christmas lights wont be the only thing hanging
I still remember my grandpas last words Stop shaking the damn ladder
my dad said ill get the milk but he forgot i was i his car
Where does a girl with one leg work? IHOP.
Why did the turkey cross the road twice? To prove he wasn’t a chicken!
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