Dark Humor

When i was at work i say this kid crying i said where are your parents. God i love working in a orphanage

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I remember my dad’s last words “I met your father.”

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What has two legs but can’t walk? Pants ??

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a boy got a soccer ball and a bike for Christmas. Why is he sad? He doesn’t have legs

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Why did the strawberry cry? – Because his mother was in a jam.

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You must be depression, because you make me want to kill myself ;)

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Teacher : Who here has thought about committing suicide? Half of the class : raises hand Teacher : … The half of the class: Starts talking about how they were thinking of doing it

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i will always remember my grandfather’s last words before he died: is that a real chainsaw?

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If I went to walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they’re barcodes too.

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Me: Calls 9-1-1 Operator: 9/11 what’s your emergency? Me: hangs up

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What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud

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What’s a similarity Cliff Hanger and Nooses? They both leave you Hanging

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I still remember my dad’s last words "don’t worry son, Allah will be pleased"

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What’s under the bottom? Your legs.

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Me and a person downtown. Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night. Me: I guess so. Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this? Me: I don’t know. I used too, but don’t anymore. Person: why’d you stop? Me: unfortunately, I lived every time I’d try something.

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