Dark Humor

What do you call a dog with no legs? – Doesn’t matter what you call him, he’s not coming.

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To avoid getting drafted, a young man slips into a nunnery to hide from some draft board agents who are after him. Desperate, he approaches a nun and asks her to hide him. “Get under my robes,” says the nun. “No one will look for you there.” The nun lifts up her robes and the man says, “Hey, that’s a fine pair of legs you have there, sister.” “Yeah, well if you look a bit higher you’ll see a fine set of balls, ” replies the nun. “I didn’t want to get drafted either.”

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What do emos and apples have in common? They both hang on trees.

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Kid:what is between moms legs? Dad:paridise. Kid whats between you legs? Dad:the key to paridise. Kid:well uou better change the lock the neighbor has the key to.

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What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs and sits in front of your door? Mat.

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i got in trouble in school for leaving the depressed kid hanging

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Life is like a box of chocolates, mostly dissapointing

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What do you call a prostitute with no arm or legs Cash and carry

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Last words of the captain of the Titanic… Where’s all this water come from??

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me: have you ever went sky diving friend:No me:Well don’t it sucks friend:Why me:They gave me a parachute and I lived

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So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging them selves I guess they lost Hangman

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I’ve looked everywhere… I just can’t seem to find where I left my will to live

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What do you come a dog with no legs? It don’t matter what you it, cause it ain’t gonna come to you.

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Are you a toaster? Bc I want to take a bath w you ;)

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I remember my grandfathers last words: Are you holding the ladder

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