Dont say your life is a joke because jokes got meaning.
A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair.so she told her sister and her sister said that aint nothing mines already eating bananas
What’s a similarity Cliff Hanger and Nooses? They both leave you Hanging
If I went to walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they’re barcodes too.
Person: where do i commit sucide Dog: roof Person: good idea
Once i was walking along the beach and there was a girl with no arms or legs there, i walked by and she said excuse me, will you touch me ive never been touched before, i was like okay so i touched her, i kept on walking along and there was the same girl, she said sir will you kiss me, i went alright so i went up and kissed her, i thought that was weird but anyway i kept walking along and there she was again, she said sir will you f@ck me? I went okay so i picked her up and threw her in the ocean and went YOUR f@ckED NOW
Me and my grandpa went on a road trip and he died that was the last thing we did together and I will never forget his last words “WAKE UP YOU DUMBASS”
Little Jonny walks in on his parents having sex. He asks what their doing and the father says: “Well…We’re making you a brother.” So little Jonny runs off to let his parents finish, happy that he’s going to have a brother soon. The next day when little Jonny’s father comes come Jonny is crying out on the driveway. The father sits down next to Jonny and asks what’s wrong. Jonny cries: “I won’t have a baby brother!” HIs father is confused. “What do you mean?” He asks. “Because the mailman came by today and ate him!”
if you slit your wrist while crying in pain, that’s self-harm. If you slit your wrist but have no expression, that’s acting. it isn’t any of those if it’s suicide.
my grandpas last words were, why is there a body in my kitchen. no witnessess
I wont ever Forget my dads last words: “OH GOD THE POLICE!!!”
Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful f@cker just sat in his wheelchair and cried
I’ll never forget my grandma’s last words, “What are you doing in here with that hammer?”
You should never leave a man hanging. Unless they are still alive…
Q: what happened when the depressed kid wanted to high five the tree? A: It left him/her/them hanging
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