Dark Humor

I will always remember my uncle’s last words, “What’s The Shovel For?”

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Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.

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What does my head and hell have in common? They both have demons in them

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I bet my friend $5 that he would die drowning. A depressing but satisfying victory.

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Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it… at least Jesus didn’t get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.

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me: have you ever went sky diving friend:No me:Well don’t it sucks friend:Why me:They gave me a parachute and I lived

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I will remember my biker buddies last words ?Why did you cut in front of me?.

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Why does sumo wrestlers shave their legs? Because they don’t want to be mistaken as feminists

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I remember my uncles last words: “I don’t think were going shooting today.”

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Emo kids counting be like: 1,2,3 come hang with me! 4,5,6 Gonna get new slits! 7,8,9 Suicide! 10,11,12 Bring some pills!

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Friend 1:Eyyy gurl Me:Hey! (Fake smile) Friend 2:hey g-guys what "bout we play would you rather? 6 hours later Friend 2:So (name) would u rather? 1.“Hang” out with me Or 2.“Jump” 1 times? Me…e-eh?..Why not both???we could just "Jump while “Hanging” out right?

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