Three men are outside Heaven’s gates waiting to be go to through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them “Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner decides your way across the bridge to Heaven”. The first guy says “I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated 3 times”. The angel gives him an old model pick up, the second guy says “11 years and only once” and is granted a Mercedes. The last man says “20 years and not once , I loved her with all my heart” and with the angel impressed he gets a gold edition Lamborghini and sets off ahead of the other two men. Hours later the two men catch up to him crying behind the wheel and one says " I know we are dead but it could be much worse". The guy looks up and says “How! I just went past my wife on a skateboard”
What do you call a cow with no legs Ground beef…haha…no one likes my jokes
why does a movie set say break a leg? because they have a CAST
What’s under the bottom? Your legs.
What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and my life? They’re both pointless.
When I saw a girl sitting on the ground crying When I asked her where her parents were, she cried louder That’s why I like to volunteer in an orphanage
are you sad then don’t be sad because sad backwards is das and das no good.
What’s the similarity between a Christmas ornament and a person? They both hang…
Denki- hey mineta i have a joke Mineta- …go on… Denki- Ochakos booty Mineta- i dont get it? Denki- exactly Mineta- cries T_T
What has 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
Person A: cmon person B, just be happy, smile Person B: over my dead body Person B: gets the noose
what do emos and the lorax have in common? they both hang with trees
What was stephan Hawkins last words\windows10shutting down
I will always remember my uncle’s last words, “What’s The Shovel For?”
If you drop an emo and a piece of paper from a tree which will hit the ground first? The piece of oaper because the rope will stop the emo
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