Knock Knock! Who’s their? It’s Dave! Dave Who? *Dave proceeds to break down crying at the realization that his grandmother’s Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.
Brian has a crush on a cute girl Sally from school so he goes and tells his dad about her and he says sorry son you cant like her she is your sister. So Brian is okay with it and he starts to like another girl Madison and he goes up to his dad and says I have a crush on this girl Madison and again the dad goes oh sorry son you cant like any girl in school they are all your sisters so he goes crying to his mom and says dad said I cant like any girl because they are all my sisters and the mom goes oh it’s okay you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad.
what do you call a dog with no legs? It don’t matter what you call it. It ain’t coming.
Little Johnny’s mom is taking a shower little Johnny walks in and asks what is that in between your legs mommy says that is my keyhole the next day little Johnny sees his dad taking a shower and little Johnny asks what is that in between your legs daddy says that is my key the next day little Johnny says to his dad looks like the neighbor has the key to mommy’s keyhole too. By:Xzavier
what’s the difference between an onion and a baby? nobody cries when you cut up the baby.
What do you call a dog with no legs ? It doesn’t matter he isn’t coming to you.
What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud
What’s the difference between an emo and my clothes? my clothes don’t hang themselves.
I will always remember my baby sisters last words.“What is the fire for?”.
people call me a bad person but just the other day i saw a little kid crying and asked him where were his parents , i love working at the orphanage At school, bobby boy’s classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with “why are you crying”. Bobby says “someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die”. His mom looks him straight in the eye and says “depends, which one are you referring to?”
I told the judge I thought she was unconscious before she woke up crying. The judge asked: why didn’t you drug her again so she would forget?
What’s the similarity between a Christmas ornament and a person? They both hang…
There’s nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.
Me: Knock knock…Friend: who’s there? Me: I don’t know anymore
I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself
RUS | ENG