Kid: hey dad whats dark humor ? Dad: go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him . Kid: but dad I dont have any legs or arms . Dad: exactly son.
Last words of the captain of the Titanic… Where’s all this water come from??
Friend #1: “Yo guys, what’s the most unfair game you’ve ever played? For me it’s Fortnite.” Friend #2: “I’d have to say Monopoly.” Me: “The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it’s a one-way game.” Friend #2: “Uhh…that’s not exactly what he meant…” Friend #1: calls the suicide hotline
Me- crying in the shower Also me- why is my toaster in here?
Kids are so ungrateful sometimes. I bought a wheelchair for my son, Did he say thank you? Nope! That mtf just sat in his wheelchair the whole time crying the whole day.??
What do you call a person with no arms or legs at your front door? Mat
what do depressed people and Apple’s have in common? they both hang from trees
If you watch " jaws" backward it will be a heartwarming story about a shark who giving arms and legs to disable people
What’s the hardest line to draw in a hospital? * … A FLATLINE!
Most people think an octopus has 8 legs. Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms? Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says “Owwww” are his arms.
I fear my last words will be ‘‘hold my beer and watch this.’’
“I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying.” -Charlie Chaplin
What does PEMDAS stand for? Please End My Depression And Suffering
I was crying when Sasha died in AOT, i also got jealous.
I cannot moderate myself at all. It’s either I don’t take my meds, or I take the entire bottle. Decisions decisions… Bleach solves so many problems, Staines, Dirty dishes, messes, and over population
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