How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.
I remember my uncles last words: “I don’t think were going shooting today.”
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He yelled, "Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!" The Doctor replies, “I know, I amputated your arms.”
What was Stephens hawking last words? I’m lagging
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions which made me cry. Onions was a good dog.
So I’m banging the f@ck out of this slutty chick, right? And I’m thinking to myself, “She’s PROBABLY got AIDS.” So I go and get myself tested and, lo-and-behold, I’m positive. This gets me thinking, “Where the f@ck does an eight year old get AIDS? !” “Who has my sister been hanging out with?!”
Most people think an octopus has 8 legs. Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms? Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says “Owwww” are his arms.
life’s too short to want it.
I still remember my grandpas last words stop wobbling the ladder you cunt
Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!
When you realize you have depression and depression realize how stupid you were
Me: Wanna play 9/11? Friend: What’s that? Me: Its a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.
why does a leaf fall faster thanan emo kid because the emo hang itself
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea. Bonus joke: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea.
A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide” The librarian replies, “No,you won’t give it back”
RUS | ENG
