What’s the hardest line to draw in a hospital? * … A FLATLINE!
What does my head and hell have in common? They both have demons in them
I don’t see why people say that emo kid doesn’t like to hangout I seen them hanging all day.
A man is walking on the deck of a cruise ship, when he sees a woman, without arms and legs, crying. The man says “What’s wrong?” The woman says “I’ve never been hugged before.” So, the man gives her a hug and walks away. The next day, the man sees the woman, on the deck, crying again. The man says “What’s wrong, now?” The woman says “I’ve never been kissed before.” So, the man gives her a kiss and walks away. The next day, the same thing occurs. The man says “Oh, for Christ’s sake! What’s wrong, this time?!” The woman says “Well, I’ve never been f@cked before.” So, the man picks her up, throws her into the ocean, and yells “YOU’RE f@ckED!”
i remember my grandfathers last words: “is that loaded?”
I’ve looked everywhere… I just can’t seem to find where I left my will to live
If you drop an emo and a piece of paper from a tree which will hit the ground first? The piece of oaper because the rope will stop the emo
I cannot moderate myself at all. It’s either I don’t take my meds, or I take the entire bottle. Decisions decisions… Bleach solves so many problems, Staines, Dirty dishes, messes, and over population
If you jump off a bridge while crying, it’s suicide, but if you jump off a bridge while screaming parquor it’s a failed stunt.
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea. Bonus joke: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea.
Are you depression "cause you’re always on my mind~ 1273 depression got the best of me, i’m gonna cry in my room now
I’ll never forget my grandma’s last words, “What are you doing in here with that hammer?”
Me: want to play 911 My little brother: what’s that Me: It’s where i kick your legs and you fall
There were three people on the third floor of a building the first one took a bite of a apple then said it was too hard so he threw it out the window the second person took a bite of a lemon he said it was too sour so he threw it out the window the third guy was drunk, he took a bite of a grenade and thought it was to crunchy so he threw it out the window then one of them went downstairs he saw a dog laying on the ground dead the apple had hit the dog in the head then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap it had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head next there was a old guy laughing i asked him why he was laugh he said “i farted and the building behind me blew up”.
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He yelled, "Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!" The Doctor replies, “I know, I amputated your arms.”
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