What do you call a dog with no legs? – Doesn’t matter what you call him, he’s not coming.
The depressed kid went to high five the tree… but the tree left them hanging… Children are like a box of Christmas decorations. I keep ‘em in my basement until it’s time to hang ‘em from a tree.
What do you call a guy with no arms and legs, at you front door? Matt
a mom cows last words were to the mom cows son they were you are then died the son though that he was adopted but then 3 years later the mom cow rose from the dead and said to her son that she was going to say you were adorable then she died once more then 2 years later she rose from htm title=' her son and that’s why we adopted you.'>the dead for the last time to say to her son and that’s why we adopted you.
my dad said ill get the milk but he forgot i was i his car
Yo mama is so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.
Why are washers better than babies? Washers don’t cry when you put a load in it.
I don"t think I’m allergic to this
How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.
Little Johnny’s mom is taking a shower little Johnny walks in and asks what is that in between your legs mommy says that is my keyhole the next day little Johnny sees his dad taking a shower and little Johnny asks what is that in between your legs daddy says that is my key the next day little Johnny says to his dad looks like the neighbor has the key to mommy’s keyhole too. By:Xzavier
i will never forget my mother and fathers last words WHERE THE SAM HELL DID YOU GET A GRANADE
what does an apple and a lawyer have in common? they both look good hanging from a tree
I still remember my grandpas last words stop wobbling the ladder you cunt
“Oh waiter! Waiter!” “Yes sir?” “Do you have frog’s legs?” “Why yes” “Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!”
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg”? Because every scene has a cast!
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