I wanna be a Christmas decoration cause they always do be hanging
I saw this little girl crying I asked her where her parents where she cried more man I love working at an orphanage
Little Johnny’s sister Suzy sees her mom in the shower and asks what is that between your legs? Her mom responds, “That is my garage”. The next day Suzy sees her dad in the shower and says, “What is that between your legs?” Her dad answers, “It is a motorcycle that gets parked in mommy’s garage.” The next day Suzy came to dinner with blood all over her hands. Her mom asks, “Why is there blood all over your hands Suzy?” Suzy says, " Well… little Johnny tried to put his motorcycle in my garage so I ripped its wheels off."
My dad said ill get the milk but he forgot i was i his car
What does an emo do on Halloween, they hang like a decoration
What did the rope say to me?
“hey there man, you wanna hang later?”
What fell down the tree first the emo or the apple
Guess what the apple because the emo got left hanging
I wish I could say that my life is a joke but I can’t because jokes have a meaning
My neck, my back, my crippling anxiety attacks
I went to a butcher house with my little cousin and seen a baby pig and told her look its pepa pig
She started crying
You’d think my son would be happy that Daddy bought him a new bike. But no… oh no he just sits in his wheelchair and cries like a little girl.
Why did the Chinese woman hang up?
Because she Wang the Wong number
I’ll never forget my dad’s last words. “Erase my search history, son.”
I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself
What is the difference between a sloth and a depressed kid? A sloth doesn’t need a rope to hang
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