Dark Humor

What do you call a prostitute with no arm or legs Cash and carry

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My life Tell me when you get it

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if things dont get better the Christmas lights wont be the only thing hanging

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I will always remember my baby sisters last words.“What is the fire for?”.

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I was speaking at my grandpa’s funeral and I told everybody his last words: “You still holding the latter?”

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I will always remember my uncle’s last words, “What’s The Shovel For?”

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What did the rope say to me? “hey there man, you wanna hang later?”

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I remember my grandfathers last words: Are you holding the ladder

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Suicide is never the answer Suicide is the question The answer is yes

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these are all of my terrible jokes Two antennas met on a roof, they fell in love and got married. The ceremony was alright but the reception was amazing A jumper cable walks into a bar and the bartender said "I’ll serve you but don’t start anything A dyslexic man walks into a bra Two cannibals are eating a clown, one says "does this taste funny to you, I’m

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whats the difference between onions and babys? i cry when i cut onions.

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life’s too short to want it.

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What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs and sits in front of your door? Mat.

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The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.

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Person A: cmon person B, just be happy, smile Person B: over my dead body Person B: gets the noose

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