what fell down the tree first the emo or the apple guess what the apple because the emo got left hanging
I can barely remember the last words my uncle told me let go of my nose
911 what’s your emergency Me, my grandma just passed out in the living room and I think she’s dead Well it’s not a living room any more Me, hangs up Whats worse than 1000 dead babies hanging off a tree? 1 dead baby hanging of 1000 trees
Once i was walking along the beach and there was a girl with no arms or legs there, i walked by and she said excuse me, will you touch me ive never been touched before, i was like okay so i touched her, i kept on walking along and there was the same girl, she said sir will you kiss me, i went alright so i went up and kissed her, i thought that was weird but anyway i kept walking along and there she was again, she said sir will you f@ck me? I went okay so i picked her up and threw her in the ocean and went YOUR f@ckED NOW
Knock Knock! Who’s their? It’s Dave! Dave Who? *Dave proceeds to break down crying at the realization that his grandmother’s Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.
If you watch " jaws" backward it will be a heartwarming story about a shark who giving arms and legs to disable people
Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful f@cker just sat in his wheelchair and cried
What has 4 wheels 2 legs and loves his shoulder Stephen hawking
What’s a similarity Cliff Hanger and Nooses? They both leave you Hanging
knock knock whos their boo boo who well you dont have to cry about it gary
if things dont get better the Christmas lights wont be the only thing hanging
I still remember my grandpas last words stop wobbling the ladder you cunt
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you? Take her wheel chair, she’ll come crawling back.
Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately? Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow
I started beating my washing machine beacause it wasn’t working, my wife started crying. Knock knock Who’s there Insomnia You’ll fit right in along with Depression and anxiety, you can help keep me awake at night because Depression is struggling with that… Well now I can "t cry myself to sleep anymore…
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