I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog.
I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself
You use your legs as support you count on your fingers
What does a cannibal and a spider have in common? Both eight legs
Whats the difference between a school bus and my Dad’s van? Schools buses usually don’t have screaming and crying children
When the people that see u Cry that doesn’t mean they miss u That mean they scared of yo Onion breath????
Are you a toaster? Bc I want to take a bath w you ;)
I still remember my grandpas last words stop wobbling the ladder you cunt
What was Steven Hawking’s last words? The windows xp log out sound
My dad, unfortunately, passed away when we couldn’t remember his blood type… His last words to us were, “Be positive!”
Little Jonny walks in on his parents having sex. He asks what their doing and the father says: “Well…We’re making you a brother.” So little Jonny runs off to let his parents finish, happy that he’s going to have a brother soon. The next day when little Jonny’s father comes come Jonny is crying out on the driveway. The father sits down next to Jonny and asks what’s wrong. Jonny cries: “I won’t have a baby brother!” HIs father is confused. “What do you mean?” He asks. “Because the mailman came by today and ate him!”
What do you call a person with no arms or legs at your front door? Mat
Other girls be like “I want a 6ft guy”, meanwhile I want to be 6ft under ????
What is the difference between a washing machine and a child…? The washing machine doesn’t cry when you put a load in it.
what did the suicidal kid say to the tree? dont leave me hanging
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