If you ever feel depressed, drink some coffee. Expresso Expresso, no more depresso!
I was crying at school telling my friends my grandpa died, And they asked me what his last words were. His last words were “Are you still holding the ladder?”
The emo kid tried to high five the tree But the tree left him hanging
What do you call a dog with no legs? – Doesn’t matter what you call him, he’s not coming.
Yo mama is so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.
What’s the hardest line to draw in a hospital? * … A FLATLINE!
Gambler A guy walks into a butcher’s shop and says "Sir, are you a gambling man?" The butcher says, “Why yes, as a matter of fact I am.” "Then I’ll bet you $25 you can’t reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there." The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I’m sorry, I won’t take that bet." The guy says, “But I thought you said you were a gambling man. ” “I am. But the steaks are too high.”
my grandpa died in 9/11 i was told his last words where Allahu Akbar
You know people always say your life is worth it, but with me it’s worth-it-less
What do you call a cow with two legs Answer: Your mom
What does my head and hell have in common? They both have demons in them
my advice to suicidal people: just hang in there ??
If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it. Works they be kicking or hitting you?
Me and a person downtown. Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night. Me: I guess so. Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this? Me: I don’t know. I used too, but don’t anymore. Person: why’d you stop? Me: unfortunately, I lived every time I’d try something.
What do emos and apples have in common? They both hang on trees.
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