I was speaking at my grandpa’s funeral and I told everybody his last words: “You still holding the latter?”
The best night of my life was when gave my virginity to wife and her last word was when she called me “Mommy” at the top of her lungs before I knocked her up ??.
If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it. Works they be kicking or hitting you?
my grandpa’s last words were before died in vietnam was what f@ck did i step on…
Why do orphans cry at insurance places They got offered the family plan
Bro I love hanging out with white people, its either we play Yahtzee Or We Playin Nazi
What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and my life? They’re both pointless.
why do we tell actors to break a leg … so they can get in the cast!
i will remember my brothers last words: if you cant put a fork in a toaster how about a spoon
A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair.so she told her sister and her sister said that aint nothing mines already eating bananas
If you drop an emo and a piece of paper from a tree which will hit the ground first? The piece of oaper because the rope will stop the emo
They say string theory is hanging on by a thread.
An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.
I can measure the speed of an object. Because I want to km/s
one time i broke up with my roblox girlfriend by sending her a message, 30 seconds later i heard my uncle crying in the next room
RUS | ENG
