Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you left it.
Why dose a milking stool have 3 legs? Because, the cow has the utter one.
I bet my friend $5 that he would die drowning. A depressing but satisfying victory.
Life is like a penis simple,soft,relaxed,and hanging free.until a woman comes around and makes it hard
My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better so i sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wifes broken leg.
What do you call a dog with no legs ? It doesn’t matter he isn’t coming to you.
I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.
A depressed kid was stuck on a tree, and a man saw the kid Man: Hang in there! Im gonna get some help! Two minutes later, the kid literally did what the guy said
Q: what happened when the depressed kid wanted to high five the tree? A: It left him/her/them hanging
Brian has a crush on a cute girl Sally from school so he goes and tells his dad about her and he says sorry son you cant like her she is your sister. So Brian is okay with it and he starts to like another girl Madison and he goes up to his dad and says I have a crush on this girl Madison and again the dad goes oh sorry son you cant like any girl in school they are all your sisters so he goes crying to his mom and says dad said I cant like any girl because they are all my sisters and the mom goes oh it’s okay you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad.
I remember grandpas last words “oh shit it’s in drive”
whats the difference between a maze and a depressed life? one of them you can find a way out of
What’s a depressed kids favorite holiday… Christmas because everything is hanging
What do you say to your sister when she’s crying? – “Are you having a crisis?”
I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog.
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