Dark Humor

Why do trees never call emo kids? The emos always hang up on them.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2


What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs and sits in front of your door? Mat.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

these are all of my terrible jokes Two antennas met on a roof, they fell in love and got married. The ceremony was alright but the reception was amazing A jumper cable walks into a bar and the bartender said "I’ll serve you but don’t start anything A dyslexic man walks into a bra Two cannibals are eating a clown, one says "does this taste funny to you, I’m

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Why are washers better than babies? Washers don’t cry when you put a load in it.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

So I’m banging the f@ck out of this slutty chick, right? And I’m thinking to myself, “She’s PROBABLY got AIDS.” So I go and get myself tested and, lo-and-behold, I’m positive. This gets me thinking, “Where the f@ck does an eight year old get AIDS? !” “Who has my sister been hanging out with?!”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

You must be depression, because you make me want to kill myself ;)

-2 -1 0 +1 +2


-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Bro I love hanging out with white people, its either we play Yahtzee Or We Playin Nazi

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

friend: hey,wanna play hid and seek? me:sure, i’ve got a great spot! me: grabs nuce and runs to my closet

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work. Paddy agrees to tell Seamuswife the bad news. He knocks on the door and Seamus wife answers. " Whats happened Paddy?" Paddy frowns. " Im sorry to say poor Seamus fell into the Guinness vat and drowned, im so sorry." She started to cry and asked paddy: " Did he at least die quickly? " Seamus shook his head, " No, he got out 3 times for a pee."

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *


© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2025