I bet my friend $5 that he would die drowning. A depressing but satisfying victory.
What do suicidal people do in their spare time? Hang out.
I’ve looked everywhere… I just can’t seem to find where I left my will to live
My mom told me its not healthy to stay in my room all day…but the only places I’m allowed to go to are my room and downstairs.
Whats a depressed persons favorite drink Depresso expresso Jk bleach
I’ll never forget my sister’s last word. “Is it edible?”
You can’t YEE your last H A W! but I put my BALLS in ur JAW.
I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.
What do you call a dog with no legs? – Doesn’t matter what you call him, he’s not coming.
Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work. Paddy agrees to tell Seamuswife the bad news. He knocks on the door and Seamus wife answers. " Whats happened Paddy?" Paddy frowns. " Im sorry to say poor Seamus fell into the Guinness vat and drowned, im so sorry." She started to cry and asked paddy: " Did he at least die quickly? " Seamus shook his head, " No, he got out 3 times for a pee."
What’s the difference between an emo and my clothes? my clothes don’t hang themselves.
I remember my dad’s last words “I met your father.”
If you jump off a bridge while crying, it’s suicide, but if you jump off a bridge while screaming parquor it’s a failed stunt.
Why was I stress eating on the train track? To wait to get hit.
What has 4 wheels 2 legs and loves his shoulder Stephen hawking
RUS | ENG
