Dark Humor

Are you suicide, cause you’re always on my mind

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what is the simularite with a sloth and a depresed kid they both hang from trees

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what do depressed people and Apple’s have in common? they both hang from trees

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Ill never forget my mother last words. What’s are doing with that sledge hammer i will never forget my girlfriends last words…"get off of me STOP"slurp…Dead

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Sometimes i get jealous when my phone dies

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a cow with 3 legs? Lean beef. What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Your mom.

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What was Steven Hawking’s last words? The windows xp log out sound

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Me: Wanna play 9/11? Friend: What’s that? Me: Its a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.

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Q:What was my son’s last words before he died. A:Bye dad i am going to school.

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I will always remember my grandpa’s last words. SHIT, THE LADDER IS FALLING!

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what game does an emo love hang man

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Three men are outside Heaven’s gates waiting to be go to through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them “Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner decides your way across the bridge to Heaven”. The first guy says “I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated 3 times”. The angel gives him an old model pick up, the second guy says “11 years and only once” and is granted a Mercedes. The last man says “20 years and not once , I loved her with all my heart” and with the angel impressed he gets a gold edition Lamborghini and sets off ahead of the other two men. Hours later the two men catch up to him crying behind the wheel and one says " I know we are dead but it could be much worse". The guy looks up and says “How! I just went past my wife on a skateboard”

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I’m going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I’m a pinata

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whats the difference between onions and babys? i cry when i cut onions.

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Friend 1:Eyyy gurl Me:Hey! (Fake smile) Friend 2:hey g-guys what "bout we play would you rather? 6 hours later Friend 2:So (name) would u rather? 1.“Hang” out with me Or 2.“Jump” 1 times? Me…e-eh?..Why not both???we could just "Jump while “Hanging” out right?

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