If I went to walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they’re barcodes too.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be Wanted. Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is. I saw a child crying yesterday so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage. What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time. Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family. What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We are Family. What’s an orphan’s least favorite tv show? Family Guy. What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents. What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House. Next: Inappropriate Jokes What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot. What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People. What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan. Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s. Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk. What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get. Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.
What was Steven Hawking’s last words? The windows xp log out sound
Once I saw A girl crying and asked where are your parents; God I love working at orphanages.
Why did the sea cry ? Because it felt salty and blue
I could never forget my grandfathers last words. “Stop shaking the ladd-”
Knock Knock! Who’s their? It’s Dave! Dave Who? *Dave proceeds to break down crying at the realization that his grandmother’s Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.
When you realize you have depression and depression realize how stupid you were
Grandpa’s last words,why do you have a chain saw
I remember my uncles last words: “I don’t think were going shooting today.”
I will always remember my grandpa’s last words. SHIT, THE LADDER IS FALLING!
Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you” Person I’m talking to: Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline “haha what”
Why did the noble gas cry? Because all his friends Argon.
Why did Billy not like the soccer ball he got for Christmas?.. He has no legs…
I’ll always remember my father’s last words: I’m gonna sleep for a little.
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