Dark Humor

one time i broke up with my roblox girlfriend by sending her a message, 30 seconds later i heard my uncle crying in the next room

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Me: Calls 9-1-1 Operator: 9/11 what’s your emergency? Me: hangs up

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A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. “One more picture and I’ll jump.” He takes another photo and shuts the window. “I can’t jump, you’re not supposed to throw trash out the window.”

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If you watch " jaws" backward it will be a heartwarming story about a shark who giving arms and legs to disable people

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why did the kid cry? his dad didn’t get the milk

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Why do we tell actors to “break a leg”? Because every scene has a cast!

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.

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I’ll never forget my Grandads last words…SON WHERE DID U GET A GRENADE FROM?!

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i remember my moms last words before her divorce, did you just load in me.

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Why did the noble gas cry? Because all his friends Argon.

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Other girls be like “I want a 6ft guy”, meanwhile I want to be 6ft under ????

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Yes I’m CUTE C-ringe U-gly T-errible E-mpty

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Person A: cmon person B, just be happy, smile Person B: over my dead body Person B: gets the noose

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Sometimes i get jealous when my phone dies

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What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? Tie won shu

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