To avoid getting drafted, a young man slips into a nunnery to hide from some draft board agents who are after him. Desperate, he approaches a nun and asks her to hide him. “Get under my robes,” says the nun. “No one will look for you there.” The nun lifts up her robes and the man says, “Hey, that’s a fine pair of legs you have there, sister.” “Yeah, well if you look a bit higher you’ll see a fine set of balls, ” replies the nun. “I didn’t want to get drafted either.”
What’s the difference between a coat hangerband an emo? Nothing that both hang
The more suicidal people there are the less suicidal people there are
i remember my grandfathers last words: “is that loaded?”
My grandma just died from cancer My last words to her were “I like your cut g”
Person: where do i commit sucide Dog: roof Person: good idea
My mom told me its not healthy to stay in my room all day…but the only places I’m allowed to go to are my room and downstairs.
Yes I’m CUTE C-ringe U-gly T-errible E-mpty
I’ll never forget my aunt’s last words before she died “can you stop shaking the latter please”
It’s ironic that the more other people love you the more you hate yourself.
I got a handjob of a blind woman the other day she said its the biggest thing i ever had in my hand i said no love your just pulling my leg
I’ll never forget my bosses last words: " We shall serve the best meat in our burgers! "
after a surgery, a man claimed he couldn’t feel his legs, i replied “OF COURSE NOT, I AMPUTATED YOUR f@ckING ARMS!”
Your legs are just like oreos! I wanna split the ends and eat whats in between.
Bro I love hanging out with white people, its either we play Yahtzee Or We Playin Nazi
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