When the emo kid hangs himself and the autistic kid thinks that it’s a pinata… BATTER UP TO THE PLATE!
**** (A cell phone in an upscale gym locker room in NYC rings and the man puts it on loud speaker next to him … everyone else in the room stops to listen): Man : Hello? Woman : Hi honey, it’s me. Are you at the club? Man : Yes. Woman : I’m out shopping and found a beautiful leather coat. It’s only $2,000 – is it OK if I buy it? Man : Sure, go ahead if you like it that much. Woman : I also stopped by that new Lexus dealership and saw one of the new models I really like – it’s on an opening special. Man : How much? Woman : $90,000. Man : Wow! OK, but for that price I want it with all the options. Woman : Great! Oh, and one more thing … I was just talking to Jamie and found out that the house we wanted to buy last year is back on the market … they’re asking $980,000 for it. Remember it was well over a million when we looked at it? Man : I dunno. Make an offer for $900,000 and they’ll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra $80,000 if that’s what you really want. Woman : OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much! Man : I love you to. **** (The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room were staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open. ) The man turns around and says : “Anyone know whose phone this is”?
The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, “Honey put down the knife we were only talking about getting a divorce.”
What do you call a cow with no legs Ground beef…haha…no one likes my jokes
I can barely remember the last words my uncle told me let go of my nose
What were Princess Dianas last words? Have you been Dri…
My grandad broke his legs. To cheer him up i bought him a walkman
I know Im valuable, I come with a barcode ;)
Q: What did one emo kid say to the other emo kid? A: Wanna hang out?
I started crying when my mom was cutting up onions Onions was a good dog
I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog.
are you a rope? bc i wanna hang with you
I can measure the speed of an object. Because I want to km/s
why does a movie set say break a leg? because they have a CAST
why don’t you see elephants hiding in trees? Bc they’re good at it.
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