Hey can’t wait to meet you! So join the crippiling depression family!!
What do emos and apples have in common? They both hang on trees.
why do we tell actors to break a leg … so they can get in the cast!
I saw this little girl crying I asked her where her parents where she cried more man I love working at an orphanage
life’s too short to want it.
Stephen Hawking’s last words were, “Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down.”
“I wasn’t that drunk yesterday.” “Oh boy you took the shower head in your arms and told it to stop crying.”
So I’m banging the f@ck out of this slutty chick, right? And I’m thinking to myself, “She’s PROBABLY got AIDS.” So I go and get myself tested and, lo-and-behold, I’m positive. This gets me thinking, “Where the f@ck does an eight year old get AIDS? !” “Who has my sister been hanging out with?!”
Why dose a milking stool have 3 legs? Because, the cow has the utter one.
Boys: “Hey, can billy come out and play baseball?” Mom: “That’s not funny, you know billy doesn’t have any arms and legs” Boys: “I know, we need a third base”
I’ll remember my last words…“SORRY IM NOT SORRY”
Wanna hear some famous last words? “We are just experiencing some turbulence”
You should never leave a man hanging. Unless they are still alive…
Any game: Are you a boy or a girl? Non-binary people: cries
What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn’t matter, he won’t come anyway.
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