grandfathers last words :Stop shaking the ladder you cunt Grandmother last words : you know how to use that hammer Dads last words : Always aim before you shoot that gun Moms last words : Turn of the stove when you’re done My last thought : am I a murder
The more suicidal people there are the less suicidal people there are
Me- crying in the shower Also me- why is my toaster in here?
What was Steven Hawking’s last words? ERROR 101
What has four legs and one arm? A rottweiler at a park. What do you say to a 1 legged hitch hiker? Hop in!
What’s the difference between a man and a table. The table doesn’t cry when I break it’s legs
What do you call a person with no arms or legs at your front door? Mat
One day, he started crying out of nowhere. Everyone started crying with him. There was a crying pandemic going around.
It’s ironic that the more other people love you the more you hate yourself.
My grandfather said we rely on technology too much so I unplugged his life support. Luckily I remember his last words . “You little bastard!”
I have an auntie who has no arms and no legs. She is my dad’s half sister.
Other girls be like “I want a 6ft guy”, meanwhile I want to be 6ft under ????
Me: want to play 911 My little brother: what’s that Me: It’s where i kick your legs and you fall
Kids are so ungrateful sometimes. I bought a wheelchair for my son, Did he say thank you? Nope! That mtf just sat in his wheelchair the whole time crying the whole day.??
why don’t you see elephants hiding in trees? Bc they’re good at it.
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