Dark Humor

where do you find a dog with no arms or legs -where you left it

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You can’t YEE your last H A W! but I put my BALLS in ur JAW.

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Whats the benefit of taking a depressed kid to the store Scan the wrist and you might get a discount

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My grandma just died from cancer My last words to her were “I like your cut g”

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea. Bonus joke: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea.

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why arent emos n trees friends? cus the tree leaves them hanging

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my advice to suicidal people: just hang in there ??

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so if the reason people used to hang women because they were seen as witches back in the day, if boys were to be hung would they be called wizards?

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I started crying when my mom was cutting up onions Onions was a good dog

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Being sad is my only happiness

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What do you call a dog with no legs ? It doesn’t matter he isn’t coming to you.

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My neck, my back, my crippling anxiety attacks

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Little Jonny walks in on his parents having sex. He asks what their doing and the father says: “Well…We’re making you a brother.” So little Jonny runs off to let his parents finish, happy that he’s going to have a brother soon. The next day when little Jonny’s father comes come Jonny is crying out on the driveway. The father sits down next to Jonny and asks what’s wrong. Jonny cries: “I won’t have a baby brother!” HIs father is confused. “What do you mean?” He asks. “Because the mailman came by today and ate him!”

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I saw this little girl crying I asked her where her parents where she cried more man I love working at an orphanage

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Brian has a crush on a cute girl Sally from school so he goes and tells his dad about her and he says sorry son you cant like her she is your sister. So Brian is okay with it and he starts to like another girl Madison and he goes up to his dad and says I have a crush on this girl Madison and again the dad goes oh sorry son you cant like any girl in school they are all your sisters so he goes crying to his mom and says dad said I cant like any girl because they are all my sisters and the mom goes oh it’s okay you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad.

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