Dark Humor

“Boom, quick; you have five seconds to give me three reasons to live.” “1…2…3 ……4…5…” Did you noticed you said nothing at all?

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I’ll never forget my grandma’s last words, “What are you doing in here with that hammer?”

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Why were the cherries ?? crying? Because their parents were in a jam.

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i will never forget my mother and fathers last words WHERE THE SAM HELL DID YOU GET A GRANADE

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So I’m banging the f@ck out of this slutty chick, right? And I’m thinking to myself, “She’s PROBABLY got AIDS.” So I go and get myself tested and, lo-and-behold, I’m positive. This gets me thinking, “Where the f@ck does an eight year old get AIDS? !” “Who has my sister been hanging out with?!”

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A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide” The librarian replies, “No,you won’t give it back”

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What do you call a dog with no legs… My asian neighbors dinner. 

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If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it. Works they be kicking or hitting you?

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