i remember my moms last words before her divorce, did you just load in me.
If you were a food what would you be? Friend 1-Pizza cause I’m so cheesy Friend 2-Chocolate chip cookie cause I have lots of friends Me-donut cause I’m so empty inside
Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? – Because the cow has the udder.
Why was I stress eating on the train track? To wait to get hit.
what do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn’t matter whutcha call him he ain’t comin’
Little Johnny’s sister Suzy sees her mom in the shower and asks what is that between your legs? Her mom responds, “That is my garage”. The next day Suzy sees her dad in the shower and says, “What is that between your legs?” Her dad answers, “It is a motorcycle that gets parked in mommy’s garage.” The next day Suzy came to dinner with blood all over her hands. Her mom asks, “Why is there blood all over your hands Suzy?” Suzy says, " Well… little Johnny tried to put his motorcycle in my garage so I ripped its wheels off."
The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.
why does a leaf fall faster thanan emo kid because the emo hang itself
Why dose a milking stool have 3 legs? Because, the cow has the utter one.
me: have you ever went sky diving friend:No me:Well don’t it sucks friend:Why me:They gave me a parachute and I lived
Other girls be like “I want a 6ft guy”, meanwhile I want to be 6ft under ????
Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you” Person I’m talking to: Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline “haha what”
Famous last words: “Don’t worry man, it’s not even loaded.”
Your legs are just like oreos! I wanna split the ends and eat whats in between.
What do you call a pig with no legs? A groundhog.
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