I wanna be a Christmas decoration cause they always do be hanging
How do you get a depressed person out of a tree? You cut the rope…
The more suicidal people there are the less suicidal people there are
What do you call a dog with no legs ? It doesn’t matter he isn’t coming to you.
I’ll always remember my dads last words… Why do you have an axe we live in the city
Are you a toaster? Bc I want to take a bath w you ;)
I’m going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I’m a pinata
Teacher : Who here has thought about committing suicide? Half of the class : raises hand Teacher : … The half of the class: Starts talking about how they were thinking of doing it
Wanna hear some famous last words? “We are just experiencing some turbulence”
Orphans are the best targets for bullying, since who they gonna cry too? their parents?
When the people that see u Cry that doesn’t mean they miss u That mean they scared of yo Onion breath????
Brian has a crush on a cute girl Sally from school so he goes and tells his dad about her and he says sorry son you cant like her she is your sister. So Brian is okay with it and he starts to like another girl Madison and he goes up to his dad and says I have a crush on this girl Madison and again the dad goes oh sorry son you cant like any girl in school they are all your sisters so he goes crying to his mom and says dad said I cant like any girl because they are all my sisters and the mom goes oh it’s okay you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad.
my grandpa died in 9/11 i was told his last words where Allahu Akbar
**** (A cell phone in an upscale gym locker room in NYC rings and the man puts it on loud speaker next to him … everyone else in the room stops to listen): Man : Hello? Woman : Hi honey, it’s me. Are you at the club? Man : Yes. Woman : I’m out shopping and found a beautiful leather coat. It’s only $2,000 – is it OK if I buy it? Man : Sure, go ahead if you like it that much. Woman : I also stopped by that new Lexus dealership and saw one of the new models I really like – it’s on an opening special. Man : How much? Woman : $90,000. Man : Wow! OK, but for that price I want it with all the options. Woman : Great! Oh, and one more thing … I was just talking to Jamie and found out that the house we wanted to buy last year is back on the market … they’re asking $980,000 for it. Remember it was well over a million when we looked at it? Man : I dunno. Make an offer for $900,000 and they’ll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra $80,000 if that’s what you really want. Woman : OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much! Man : I love you to. **** (The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room were staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open. ) The man turns around and says : “Anyone know whose phone this is”?
What does a priest and a clown have in common? They both make children cry
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