Dark Humor

What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you? Take her wheel chair, she’ll come crawling back.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit? A DEPPression. (If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke)

-2 -1 0 +1 +2


these are all of my terrible jokes Two antennas met on a roof, they fell in love and got married. The ceremony was alright but the reception was amazing A jumper cable walks into a bar and the bartender said "I’ll serve you but don’t start anything A dyslexic man walks into a bra Two cannibals are eating a clown, one says "does this taste funny to you, I’m

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I wont ever Forget my dads last words: “OH GOD THE POLICE!!!”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? – Because the cow has the udder.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2


-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What has 4 legs and 1 arm? A Doberman in a playground.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I will always remember my grandpa’s last words: Stop shaking the ladder you cunt!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Sam is a kindergartener. One day, Sam’s teacher told him to learn the first few letters of the alphabet. Later that night, Sam asked his moody sister what the first letter of the alphabet was and she replied with “Oh what’s the point. Life is meaningless…”. Sam then went up to his room and found his brother crying on the floor. Sam asked him what the next letter was. “I hate you!” said sam’s brother, so Sam left the room. Sam went to his mom and asked her what the third letter was. “You stupid f*****” his mom yelled at him. So Sam went to ask his Grandpa what the fourth letter is and his grandpa didn’t reply, so Sam went to bed. The next day, Sam’s teacher called on him to tell the class what the first letter is and he answered with “Oh what’s the point. Life is meaningless…” and the teacher sent him to the school counselor. As he left the room, he yelled at his teacher “I hate you!” As Sam arrived at the counselors office she said she had called his parents and they wanted him to be safe and locked up in a padded cell. “You stupid f*****” Sam screamed as he heard the ambulance sirens getting nearer. As the ambulance drove away, Sam, in his straight jacket, was silent.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *


© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2026