The depressed kid went to give a tree a high five… …but it left him hanging.
I went to visit my friends sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him he kept repeating “Ni caizhe wo de yangqi guan” Suddenly right in front of me, he passed. Later that night I translated his last words, and they were “You’re standing on my oxygen tube”
What’s the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him ? It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
I’ll never forget my grandma’s last words, “What are you doing in here with that hammer?”
why does a movie set say break a leg? because they have a CAST
i got in trouble in school for leaving the depressed kid hanging
why do emos like circles because they can hang out with them
Sex is like math. Subtract the clothes, Add the bed, Divide the legs, and pray to God there is no multiplying.
Just all us depressed people joking about our depressed lives, we should hang out sometime
Once i was walking along the beach and there was a girl with no arms or legs there, i walked by and she said excuse me, will you touch me ive never been touched before, i was like okay so i touched her, i kept on walking along and there was the same girl, she said sir will you kiss me, i went alright so i went up and kissed her, i thought that was weird but anyway i kept walking along and there she was again, she said sir will you f@ck me? I went okay so i picked her up and threw her in the ocean and went YOUR f@ckED NOW
Life is like a penis simple,soft,relaxed,and hanging free.until a woman comes around and makes it hard
I’ll always remember my Dad’s last words before he died on 9/11… Allahu Akbar!
If you drop an emo and a piece of paper from a tree which will hit the ground first? The piece of oaper because the rope will stop the emo
There’s nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.
To whoever stole my antidepressants I hope you are happy now
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