What do you come a dog with no legs? It don’t matter what you it, cause it ain’t gonna come to you.
Why did the sea cry ? Because it felt salty and blue
Q:What was my son’s last words before he died. A:Bye dad i am going to school.
Why do orphans cry at insurance places They got offered the family plan
Being sad is my only happiness
i will always remember my grandfather’s last words before he died: is that a real chainsaw?
I can measure the speed of an object. Because I want to km/s
I went to visit my friends sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him he kept repeating “Ni caizhe wo de yangqi guan” Suddenly right in front of me, he passed. Later that night I translated his last words, and they were “You’re standing on my oxygen tube”
One day, he started crying out of nowhere. Everyone started crying with him. There was a crying pandemic going around.
I saw this little girl crying I asked her where her parents where she cried more man I love working at an orphanage
Why was I stress eating on the train track? To wait to get hit.
Boys: “Hey, can billy come out and play baseball?” Mom: “That’s not funny, you know billy doesn’t have any arms and legs” Boys: “I know, we need a third base”
Me: Man I wish my clothes were emo. Friend:Why? Me:so they would hang themselves
What do emos and apples have in common? They both hang on trees.
You can’t YEE your last H A W! but I put my BALLS in ur JAW.
RUS | ENG
