Friend: hey,wanna play hid and seek? me:sure, i’ve got a great spot! me: grabs nuce and runs to my closet
People call me a bad person but just the other day i saw a little kid crying and asked him where were his parents, i love working at the orphanage
At school, bobby boy’s classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with “why are you crying”. Bobby says “someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die”. His mom looks him straight in the eye and says “depends, which one are you referring to?”
Why Couldn’t the Japanese man give a high five?
Because Logan Paul left him hanging.
Suicide is never the answer Suicide is the question The answer is yes
I got a handjob of a blind woman the other day she said its the biggest thing i ever had in my hand i said no love your just pulling my leg
What do emos and apples have in common?
They both hang on trees.
Chuck Norris doesn’t turn on his shower, he just stares at it until it cries
Snow everywhere, it’s Christmas time. A person looks at the tree. The person: Only last thing left to hang! He grabs a noose.
What do suicidal people do in their spare time?
Hang out.
Person A: cmon person B, just be happy, smile Person B: over my dead body Person B: gets the noose
Me: have you ever went sky diving friend:No me:Well don’t it sucks friend:Why me:They gave me a parachute and I lived
What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg? Eileen
Doctor approaches a patient in Hospital and says “I have some good news and bad news" so the patient says “What is the bad news?” the Doctor replies “I have had to amputate both your legs” so the patent says “Well what is the good news? ” the Doctor replies "I have found someone to buy your slippers”…
I’ll always remember my Dad’s last words before he died on 9/11…
Allahu Akbar!
When the people that see u Cry that doesn’t mean they miss u That mean they scared of yo Onion breath???
What made me laugh?
The fact that my life is a joke: ")
RUS | ENG
