Dark Humor

What’s a similarity Cliff Hanger and Nooses? They both leave you Hanging

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I can measure the speed of an object. Because I want to km/s

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grandfathers last words :Stop shaking the ladder you cunt Grandmother last words : you know how to use that hammer Dads last words : Always aim before you shoot that gun Moms last words : Turn of the stove when you’re done My last thought : am I a murder

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I can barely remember the last words my uncle told me let go of my nose

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Are you suicide, cause you’re always on my mind

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I saw my friend hang themselves my response was i guess they wanted to hang with someone

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Me: Man I wish my clothes were emo. Friend:Why? Me:so they would hang themselves

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I will remember my biker buddies last words ?Why did you cut in front of me?.

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Q:How do you make a door cry A:Twist it’s knob

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i saw a little kid crying yesterday, so i asked him where his parents were. God i love working at an orphanage

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If I was a party, then anxiety must be the cousin depression felt obligated to bring to the party and insomnia the little annoying sibling.

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What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs and sits in front of your door? Mat.

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a boy got a soccer ball and a bike for Christmas. Why is he sad? He doesn’t have legs

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Grandpa’s last words,why do you have a chain saw

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Why is a orphan crying about its family? Because it cant “let it go”

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