Whats the difference between a Silver Medal and a Priest? They both came in a little behind.
What’s the difference between Madeline McCann and Batman? Batman returns
What’s the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him ? It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
Whats the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? Bigfoot has been sighted.
What’s the Difference between an emo kid and a pack of Oreos. The bar code on the emo kid gets longer everyday.
whats the difference between a blonde and a car door: the harder you slam the blonde the looser it gets
What is the difference between a washing machine and a child…? The washing machine doesn’t cry when you put a load in it.
Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don’t have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan : he tells his friend “We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks but then when the bill comes you get down and suck on the hot-dog and it’ll look like you’re sucking on my dick so then we’ll get thrown out without paying and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again”. His friend agrees so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude’s pants, go to the bar and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, “Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!” The first guy says “Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!”
I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
how did riahna know that chris brown was cheating on her…there was a different color of lip stick on his knuckles
What’s the difference between a paycheck and your penis? You don’t have to beg your wife to blow up the paycheck…
What’s the difference between Hitler and a feminist? At least Hitler actually did something
What’s the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be saying ten babies in one trashcan. Morbid humor would be saying one baby in ten trashcans
“Why did Susie fall off the swing?” “Because she had no arms” “Why could she get up off the ground?” “Because she had no friends” “Knock knock” “Who’s there?” “Not Susie, she’s still on the ground” “Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?” “Everywhere” “Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?” “Because it was in a different body bag” “Why did Susie drop her ice cream?” “She was hit by a bus” “Why did Susie fall off the swing? ” “Someone threw a refrigerator at her”
What do turtles and lesbians have in common they both choke on plastic
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