Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign? A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
What’s the difference between a hamster and a cigarette? They’re both harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire
what’s the difference between a shooter and a bullied autistic kid Depends who’s shooting What is the difference between an orphan and a apple? Well at least one gets picked
What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?the mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
What’s the difference between that bridge and my will to live? None, they’re both too short.
What is the difference between a coconut and your ex? One is fun to knock down by throwing rocks at the other one is a coconut.
What the difference between an Irish wedding and a Irish funeral, one less drunk.
What’s the difference between you and Jesus? Your parents remember Jesus’s birth date
What’s the difference between Micheal Jackson and a plastic bag One’s made of plastic and dangerous for kids to play with, and the other carries groceries
Roast: What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus? One is hairy and smells like fish and the other is a walrus. Your welcome What is the difference between a Catholic priest and Acne? – Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.
What is the difference between a washing machine and a child…? The washing machine doesn’t cry when you put a load in it.
What’s the difference between $1 Million and Baby Teeth? I don’t have $1 Million in my wallet.
What’s the difference between a refrigerator and a gay guy? You have to ask permission before stuffing it with meat.
What is the difference between a plane and a helicoptor. A plane hits a building but a helicopter hits the floor
What’s the difference between a battery and my wife? The battery has a positive side
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