what is the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies? U can’t unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitch fork.
What’s the difference between a knife and my life? A knife has a point.
What do turtles and lesbians have in common they both choke on plastic
what is the difference between a baby and a watermelon, one smashes open when you hit it with a sledge hammer and the other is a water melon
“Why did Susie fall off the swing?” “Because she had no arms” “Why could she get up off the ground?” “Because she had no friends” “Knock knock” “Who’s there?” “Not Susie, she’s still on the ground” “Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?” “Everywhere” “Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?” “Because it was in a different body bag” “Why did Susie drop her ice cream?” “She was hit by a bus” “Why did Susie fall off the swing? ” “Someone threw a refrigerator at her”
What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.
Whats the difference between a dead baby in a dumpster and a treasure chest? It’s a suprise when you find the treasure
What’s the difference between that bridge and my will to live? None, they’re both too short.
People are like potatoes. We may look different, but we all taste the same with a little ketchup.
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign? A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don’t have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan : he tells his friend “We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks but then when the bill comes you get down and suck on the hot-dog and it’ll look like you’re sucking on my dick so then we’ll get thrown out without paying and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again”. His friend agrees so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude’s pants, go to the bar and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, “Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!” The first guy says “Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!”
What’s the difference between a school and a isis military base? Don’t ask me I only fly the drone…
Whats the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? The freezer doesn’t fart when you pull the meat out
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? – One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?the mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
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