So, Satan is in the delivery room having a child. Soon, a feathered creature comes out. “Doctor,” say Satan. “What is it?” The doctor sighs. “Well, it’s not a boy, and it’s not a girl.” Satan looks frustrated. “THEN WHAT IS IT?!?!?” The doctor looks up. “It’s a goose.”
“Doctor, there’s a patient on line 1 that says he’s invisible” “Well, tell him I can’t see him right now.”
Woman: Doctor, where are we going? Doctor: To the morgue. Woman: I’m not dead yet, doctor. Doctor: We’re not at morgue yet, either
I told the doctor I didn’t want a brain surgery. But he changed my mind.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away… Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough…???
So theres a orphan in a hospital and the doctor walks up and says “sorry kid but this is a family hospital”
I am still trying to figure out why paying the covid doctors a complement is so offensive. They even kicked me out and all I said was to stay positive…
An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away… it can keep ANYONE away. If you throw it hard enough.
If you throw it hard enough.
There’s a plane going down over the desert with only 3 parachutes on board. There are four people onboard, the smartest man in the world, the best doctor in the world, an old priest, and a young nerd. The doctor says, “People need me for my medical skills.” grabs the first parachute pack, and jumps. The smartest man in the world says, “People need me for my intelligence.” grabs a pack, and jumps. The old priest says, “I have lived a long and happy life. You take the last chute.” The nerd says, “Don’t worry. There are enough chutes for the both of us. The smartest man in the world just grabbed my backpack.”
A doctor walks up to a dying man and sadly says: "I’m sorry, the test shows you only have 10 more to live." The man says " 10! ? 10 what!? Years? Weeks? Days? What?!!?" The doctor calmly replies “Nine”
The doctor says “your wife is PREGNENT” the man says that he used a condom and the doctor says "ya but I didn’t
A man goes for his annual checkup. Afterwords he’s sitting the the doctor’s office and the doctor comes in with the results of his tests. The doctor says, “I have some bad news; you have cancer and Alzheimer’s. ” The man replies, “well, at least I don’t have cancer.”
When does a doctor get mad?
When he runs out of patients!
The doctor and said he had good news and bad news. The Good news is that you have 24 hours to live. The bad news is I forgot to call you yesterday.
What’s the difference between an anal and oral thermometer? The taste.
A heavily pregnant woman is in an accident and gives birth to twins while comatose. Upon awakening some days later, the doctors tell her that her brother Tom filled out the birth certificates while she was out.
“Oh no, Tom’s an idiot, what did he name my daughter?” she asked the nurse.
“Denise. ” “That’s not a bad name. And what did he name the boy?” “Tom Junior.”
“That’s not a bad name. And what did he name the boy?”
“Tom Junior.”
RUS | ENG
