Dream jokes

just killed a woman feeling good -Tommyinnit

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officer, I drop-kicked that child in SELF-DEFENSE! You gotta believe me!

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Why did the silly girl ?? put sugar under her pillow? She wanted to have sweet dreams. ??

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Yesterday in my dream I ate a ten pound marshmallow, when I woke up my pillow was gone

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It was the year 1912, I was in the SS. titanic, and I woke from a dream to think, “I’ve heard of wet dreams, but is that WATER?”

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Last night, I dreamed I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. But it was just a Fanta sea. (Fantasy)

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Sniff a liter of petrol You’ll go back to the dream time at

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Why do black men have nightmares? because the only one that had a dream got shot.

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When Caesar’s wife told him she dreamed he should beware the Ides of March, he scoffed and said, “What? It’s not like I’m gonna be stabbed 23 times by my best buddies!”

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Man: I know how to please a woman. Woman: Then please leave me alone. Man: I want to give myself to you. Woman: Sorry, I don’t accept cheap gifts. Man: Your hair color is fabulous. Woman: Thank you. It’s on aisle three at the corner drug store. Man: You look like a dream. Woman: Go back to sleep. Man: I can tell that you want me. Woman: Yes, I want you to leave. Man: Hey, baby, what’s your sign? Woman: Do not enter. -OR- Stop. Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today. Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down. Man: What’s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? Woman: I hate you. Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.

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Me: I have a dream Mom: what? Me: for you to f@cking shut up

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You don’t have a forehead you have a five head. You don’t have dreams you have movies.

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%%Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) We’ve known each other for so long Your heart’s been aching, but You’re too shy to say it Inside, we both know what’s been going on We know the game and we’re gonna play it I just wanna tell you how I’m feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you. mucho_mango: just woke up from my dream what was that.

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My hopes and dreams

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My friend dreamed of being a porno star. He did it for 3 months and decided it was not for him The next job he got was pumping petrol, halfway through filling up, he pulled the hose out and started spraying all over the car!

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