Dream jokes

Me: I have a dream Mom: what? Me: for you to f@cking shut up

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Johnny is very attached to his parents, he asks to take a shower with her when she gets in. He looks down and asks "whats that?"The mother replies "that’s my garage" he looks up and asks what are those? The mother responds “those are my headlights.” He then goes and takes a shower with his dad. He looks down “daddy whats that?” The dad replies “that’s my car.” He goes to sleep that night and wakes up because of a bad dream. He goes and tell his mother and she says “you can lay with me.” He falls fast asleep then wakes up once more because of falling off the bed he gets back up and gets under the covers. Then he feels the bed moving he looks under the covers to investigate and see’s them going at it he then yells “mommy turn on you’re headlights daddy’s parking his car in you’re garage!” THUD

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I’m a little piss baby! -dream

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I lent my sister my bed. The next morning, she told me it worked like a dream.

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Can people please shut up about ‘male privileges’. There is no right that men have that women don’t. Women have the right to genital integrity. Women can vote without having to sign up for the draft. Women have the right to choose parenthood, men do not. Women have the right to be assumed caregivers for children. Women have the right to call unwanted, coerced sex rape. Women have the right to lower jail sentences for the same crime. Women have the right to not be assumed sexual predators. Women have the right to government departments that solely serve their interests. They also have the luxury of “women only” events that men cannot even dream of. (They even took the boy scouts away from us) Women have the right to government-enforced gender quotas Women have the right to exclusive tax benefits for being a business owner. Women have the right to domestic violence shelters Women have the right to not be assumed the primary aggressor in a domestic depute Women have the right to rape a man or boy and if she gets pregnant from that man/boy they can sue him for child support. So it is women who have more rights. So shut up feminists please.

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Last night I had a dream of led but your mom won’t led me tell you.

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If your sleeping, and you fall in your dream, you may have died, and the angels dropped you Or you don’t wake up, and you were on your way to hell

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Boom boom acka-lacka lacka boom Boom boom acka-lacka boom boom

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I had a dream about being forced to eat a huge marshmallow I woke up and my pillow was gone

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One of the most popular documentaries of the 2010’s was ‘Jiro Dreams of Sushi’. One of the least popular documentaries was ‘Jiro’s Nightmare of Ass-Rape’.

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Your forehead is so big I bet your dreams are in IMAX.

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officer, I drop-kicked that child in SELF-DEFENSE! You gotta believe me!

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Everyone in my class: I can’t wait until have a family, I can’t wait to study for my dream job My friends: What’s your dream job? Me: I’m going to die young :))

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You realize your in a parodox,until you die,you’ll see yourself die,Murder,Suicide,Old Age,Etc Then your realize your dreaming,but you realize that you die in a dream you die irl

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Why didn’t the skeleton follow his dreams? He was too gutless. I wonder if the 2 Irish kids off the Titanic movie who went to sleep before it sank had wet dreams?

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