Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign? A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
Where did Stephen Hawking go when he wanted to get drunk? The Genius Bar.
one day jack and jill went up a hill jack got jill drunk and horny then took her to a hotel becus jack wanted to suck and lick her candy stick
some guy was mad at his ex wife! so he threw a bottle of alcohol into her house when he was drunk. And realized when he was being questioned for arson, his cigarette was in the rim of the bottle.
My dad…came over late at night…he was drunk…he started telling me how useless I was…then I went to the kitchen grabbed a knife and stabbed him in the htm title=' minutes later…he died…now I’m losing mind…and cutting myself…'>chest 47 times…3 minutes later…he died…now I’m losing mind…and cutting myself…
Hey, I’m not an alcoholic! I only drink 2 times a year. When it’s my Birthday, and when it’s not…
Mom I’m pregnant are you drunk why because your boy
Friened says, "your so drunk last night, u throu a mushroom at a migit and said grow mario grow.
Kid: dad what is it like to be drunk Dad: you see those 2 trees over there, if you were drunk you would see 4 Kid: dad there is only 1 tree
Jack and Jill went up the hill, they turned to drunks and have no will, Jill said to Jack your love reveal, then think of building me a still.
Superman was bored and wanted to go out, he called all his super friends but they were all busy. He even calls Louis but it’s her time of the month. He flies to the liquor store and buy some beer and gets drunk. As has flying he sees wonder woman naked on top of the roof, he starts thinking "I will fly down…and have sex with her sooooo fast “BURP” that she WON’T know what happen. "HICKUP" He flies to her faster than a speed of light BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG and flies away with a smile he passes out and crashed into a wall. Wonder woman jumps up and screams "WHAT WAS THAT… the invisible man appears holding his butt and he gets off on wonder woman and says ‘I dont know but my butt hurts real bad’.
A Chinese moves to the USA after 50 years of living in Shanghai. He bought a home on a small piece of land. The friendly American neighbor decides to go across and welcome the new guy. He goes next door but on his way up the drive-way he sees the Chinese man running around his front yard, chasing about 10 hens. Not wanting to interrupt these ‘Chinese customs’,
A man sits in a bar and get seriously drunk to the point where he vomits on his shirt. He panics. The bartender asked, “What’s wrong sir?” The man reply’s, “I got drunk and vomited, my wife will kill me.” The bartender says, " put 20$ in the shirt and say someone puked on you and they paid you for the wash." So the man walks out the with 20$ he put in his shirt pocket. The next day the wife said, “Why is there vomit on your shirt?” The man says, “Someone puked on me and gave me 20$ bucks for the wash.” The wife pull out the money. “There is 40$-”, says the wife. “Oh, he also peed on me he paid for the wash to. ” The man walks away in belif he didn’t get caught by his wife.
Question: How was Covid19 born? Answer:Someone f@cked batman??
a random drunk person ate poop but he found out it was liquid…
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