I just found out my ex got stabbed today…lets just say i lost my job as a butcher
How did Helen Keller die? Her ex gave her plutonium and told her to eat it
I took my son to a drivers school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive htm title=' (I gotta go pay him out of jail)'>a car because he ran over my ex on “accident” (I gotta go pay him out of jail)
A FED EX plane was carrying 375 fridges across Africa but the cargo door wasn’t shut properly but only 218 reached the desired destination. The rest landed in a remote village. How many fell out the plane?
Time’s up! You took too long you only had 4 seconds to answer it.
How do you put an elephant into the fridge that pushed out the cargo door?
Open the fridge, put the elephant in and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe into the fridge?
Open the fridge, take out the elephant. Then put in the giraffe and close the door.
Why did sally fall off the swing?
Because she got hit by the other 156 refrigerators.
How did she survive?
Her idiot mother tried to pull her out and accidentally ripped both her arms off. But she was rescued 8 minutes later.
Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horse and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.
My ex boyfriend’s dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob I had to give him a thumb and forefinger job.
2 friends are talking and the one says, “I had a good day today, I ran into my ex.” The other guy replies, “How is that good?” The Friend says, “I was in my car.”
I had a horrible nightmare yesterday. I was in room filled with all of my ex’s, so I was completely alone.
On my signal, I would like you to drive onto the pavement (sidewalk) and run over my ex-wife.
When you want to see and smell your ex for the last time,look at a ugly dog,and smell the garbage
What do you call a no r-med T-rex
A T-ex
My ex was so full of shit,she probably poured toilet cleaner in her nose to get relief.
What do the twin towers and my ex-girlfriend have in common? They both went down on my dad.
What has two legs, two arms, one dead and covered in red? My ex wife.
So my ex who wouldn’t leave me alone because she thought I was the best person in the world even though will has a better haircut then me but anyway when we broke up she said I was the worst person she ever met and I told her she looks like a cross between a beaver and a mole rat. Then I told her she has the wendys logo haircut and then some other things I’m not gonna say. 2 years of bullshit I was done Anyways she cried lol
My ex girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus drivers licence.
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