What did Pennywise become after LEAVING the circus? Ex-IT. (I capitalized important parts of the joke)
What do the twin towers and my ex-girlfriend have in common? They both went down on my dad.
Peanuts are hard to crack just like my ex wifes heart
I love breakups, my ex-girlfriends always end up in pieces.
My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like
If I was an object in this world I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break. If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me. I’m a star! Because one of these days I’m going to crash and burn… If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I’d be a panda, because people
ex-bf’s gf: your so ugly as hell me: oh did I mention that i was trying to be you
one day my ex best friend lied about his computer died when he left the call and watched youtube
Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horse and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.
My ex misses me, good thing she’ll never hit me.
What has two legs, two arms, one dead and covered in red? My ex wife. So my ex who wouldn’t leave me alone because she thought I was the best person in the world even though will has a better haircut then me but anyway when we broke up she said I was the worst person she ever met and I told her she looks like a cross between a beaver and a mole rat. Then I told her she has the wendys logo haircut and then some other things I’m not gonna say. 2 years of bullshit I was done Anyways she cried lol
What does an astronaut call his ex from space? SpaceX
My ex still misses me… But her aim is getting better every time!
I was walking down the street when i thought i smelled my ex’s perfume, turns out i was standing in front of a fish market.
Me:Whats that sound? Ex:What? Me:oh its the elevator going up. BYEEEE see you on another level!
RUS | ENG
