I’ve been looking for my ex girlfriend’s killer for the past two years. But no one would do it.
If I was an object in this world I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break. If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me. I’m a star! Because one of these days I’m going to crash and burn… If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I’d be a panda, because people
I took my son to a drivers school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive htm title=' (I gotta go pay him out of jail)'>a car because he ran over my ex on “accident” (I gotta go pay him out of jail)
I had a horrible nightmare yesterday. I was in room filled with all of my ex’s, so I was completely alone.
the last thing i told my ex after we broke up was “at least we’re still cousins”??
Build your ex a fire and their warm for a day. Set you ex on fire and hide the smile/evidence
My girlfriend broke up with me today but it’s ok, She said we can still be cousins.
A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE F*** F***ED MY WIFE!” A man in the back responds, “YOU AINT GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!” A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.
My ex still misses me… But her aim is getting better every time!
Girlfriend: you remind me of a cellphone Ex Boyfriend: how and why? Girlfriend: Because your about to die
My Smoothie Ingredients -Bananas -Strawberry -The Blood of my ex -Peanut Butter Gf- You are a drug. Bf- Why cause you are addicted to me? Gf- No, because you are number one most wanted in Montana.
I was hunting at night for deer and then I found one and shot it, I realized the deer I shot was actually my ex…
My ex-wife still misses me… BUT HER AIM IS GETTIN BETTER!
Fruit is like ex-wives. They both look really good hanging from a tree.
Today was a bad day. First My ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver
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